There is this one particular phrase that I used a lot that worked very effectively at subtly hinting guests to leave your home whilst also being very polite and nice. Sadly it doesn’t have a meaningful direct translation to English and I’ve been left toothless after I moved to Britain.
When I have people over but I want some time to myself or am feeling tired, Id want them to leave but I don’t say so because I don’t want to sound impolite and almost nobody ever picks up on my South Asian hints.
What do you say/do to guests who overstay their welcome?
23 comments
I start talking about how late it is and got an early start tomorrow etc, if they’re still not getting the message I go upstairs and get changed into sweats. If you know them well though I’d just tell them straight
The old slapping your hands on your thighs, looking around and saying “Well…” often does the trick.
“Well, thanks for coming around/it was lovely to see you”
“I think I’m going to head to bed soon, I’m feeling pretty tired/have an early start tomorrow”
You could try putting things away and tidying up around them. Switch the night heating on, TV off etc.
Just out of interest, what’s the phrase you used to use in another language?
It’s been fun but I’m throwing you out now, thanks for coming over.
“how about a game of Monopoly?” Should get them out the door pretty quickly
Out of curiosity, can you tell us what the phrase is? Maybe there is an analogy in English.
“I have work in the morning and I’m gonna need to go to bed soon” usually works for me.
Stand up and say something like:
* “Well…it was very nice to see you…”
* “Anyway…I’ve got all that ironing/washing up/meeting preparation to do…”
* “I’ve got an early start tomorrow, I’d better be getting on.”
* “Ooh, is that the time? You must be wanting to get home to your spouse/dogs/kids/empty flat.”
Then walk towards the door, helping them with any coats and bags they’ve brought with them. If they still don’t get the hint, open the front-door and stand next to it, looking at them expectantly.
If all else fails “I’m bored of you now, off you fuck.”
Don’t hint. Just say.
I usually go with “everyone ready to start booking taxis?”.
Be reasonable though.
If you’ve got friends who’ve travelled a hour to visit you, kicking them out after a 15 minute cup of tea is shite.
They’d be more put out if they felt they outstayed their welcome, just outright saying it was lovely to see them but you need to get to bed soon should get them to leave. Relying on subtle hints is tricky as they may not want to say they are leaving in case *you* are offended with them going too early!
Easy enough when it’s late at night; like the other Redditors say – start talking about how you need an early start in the morning, etc.
However, daytime visits are less easy! If people don’t take the subtle hints you’ve been dropping – try ‘I’m really sorry but I have a telephone appointment with my doctor in about 10 minutes, so – it’s been lovely, thanks for coming.’ And stand up as you say this, start fetching coats etc.
Or any appointment [imaginary or real] will do – eg I have to be at the dentist/hairdresser/pick up my supermarket shopping etc.
British people expect a lot of the ‘it’s been lovely to see you, must do this again soon’ etc etc – otherwise they feel they are being thrown out!
I usually make them aware that there’s something I need to do. Different things work on different days of the week and at different times of the day. For example if a friend is over during the day for coffee, you can say something along the lines of: it’s been lovely chatting but Ive got to get ready for a dental check up / hair dresser appointment/ to go do a shop at Tesco’s to get something for dinner.
If it’s in the evening before a work day we say things like: look at the time, I’d better start getting my lunch ready for tomorrow.
Put the biscuits back in the cupboard.
Don’t invite anyone round your house in the first place.
Yawn and fail to cover it up. If daytime, allow a pause to develop. If they’re hardened bores, drunk or angling to stay the night and you don’t want them to, say well, this has been great, we must do it again some time, let me get your coat.
“Everyone fuckoffee?”
I have a friend that says “ do you need to use the toilet before you go “ whenever she wants someone to leave
Turn the lights off and go to bed.
I normally start having my evening wank. They’ll be going way before I come
Start yawning and looking at your watch every 5-10 seconds.
“Would you like a tea before you go?”
Will usually elicit a no and them packing up and leaving.
I just say “bye” and stare at them.