I (24M) have been with my bf (28M) for 5 years. Although Im younger, I’m a lot more sexually experienced than he is and I’ve always felt that we were not very compatible sexually because of this. We’re a perfect match outside of sex. We have the same humor, we’re very affectionate, and we love each other very much but our sex issues are becoming a big issue for me. He is very conservative and kind of a prude when it comes to sex. I, on the other hand, am very adventurous sexually and I’ve always craved more from out sex life that I’ve never been able to get.
I love him a lot and I want to be with him but after being sexually repressed for so many years I think I want an open relationship. I’ve always been open about my feelings about our sex life but nothing ever fundamentally changes. I dont know how to ask or if I even should ask for an open relationship. Like I said before, hes very conservative so I dont think he would be open to this as Ive brought up having 3somes in the past to remedy the issue but he was not happy about it. I know that if we continue on like this im going to either cheat or leave and I dont want either. What should I do?
4 comments
Have you discussed something a little easier to swallow first, like sex therapy?
“Open Relationship” and “Conservative” don’t match up very well, if at all. Good luck with that.
A monogamous relationship is a good thing, in the eyes of many people, even those who don’t necessarily consider themselves conservative. My wife and I consider ourselves pretty liberal, and we’ve never even done anal lol. An open relationship would only be a pre-course to a divorce.
I was in a very similar situation, but I unfortunately ended up having to leave. It’s a tough one, but if you do bring up an open relationship and he isn’t for it… I recommend leaving. It will just end up with both of you hurting each other while trying to save each other’s feelings. If he does offer to try it, that’s great!! Just be weary if he goes for it, but keeps backpedalling.
You can sit down and talk to him in a non sexual situation. That said, don’t be surprised if this leads to the end of the relationship. There are many great reasons to seek an open relationship, but one-sided sexual dissatisfaction is seldom a good one.
If your partner is conservative when it comes to sex, odds are overwhelming that instead of being happy that you are finding the sex someone else that they aren’t giving you, they will instead be hurt and upset that you want to seek sex elsewhere.