My fiance and I are wedding planning, but when it comes to a lot of the decisions he delegates to me saying “it’s your day.” We’re both excited for the party and celebrating with family, but i know he’s not a details guy and doesn’t care for things like napkin colours so uses that line as a bit of a cop-out. I figure there will probably come a decision in the planning process that he’ll be excited about… married men of reddit, what was that for you?
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To be honest nothing
Food.
The appetizers, main meal, and cake tastings were awesome and the only part of wedding planning I wanted to be a part of.
Everything else did not matter to me. Seriously. And not a cop out. My wife was getting enough people in her ear about what to do, so I let her make the decisions she wanted to and if she was unsure we would discuss it but let her make the final decision.
I’m not married just yet, so my opinion may not matter to you but.. there is literally no part of the planning that matters to me other than being able to choose who comes (obviously in addition to who my partner also wants). The rest just doesn’t make any difference to me.
Most guys never grew up thinking about the perfect wedding, it’s not something that ever came up for any guy I know personally anyways. In fact, if our partners weren’t into the planning side of things and felt the same way as us we would probably just go sign papers in a courthouse and throw a party at home with friends and family instead. The theatrics behind everything is more ingrained in young women than it is to men.
My gf and I have had a lot of discussions about this and the only input I have given is “it will be an open bar so people don’t have to worry about bringing money or whatever” and I want my friends and family there. She’s the one excited to plan things to match her dreams.
I was a very willing participant in food/venue (restaurant with event space they hosted and catered), cake, photographer, and the DJ. The rest…eh.
My bride and her family sort of took over and I just went with it. It seemed totally normal to me at the time. I was more excited about the honeymoon. She had a dream destination she thought we couldn’t afford and I was able to make it happen for her. I was pretty proud of that.
Unfortunately, the key phrase there is “for her.” Should have been for “us.” Led to an unhealthy pattern in our marriage. Oh well, young and dumb.
Food and booze selection. Touring venues was cool. Picking the groomsmen style was cool too.
My wife and her mom really took care of most of the decisions.
I set the budget, took the lead on planning the menu, curated the final list to pick from when it came to the cake and DJ, and we were equally involved when it came to researching venues to tour in-person.
I wanted nothing to do with the wedding, I had a much simpler “vision” of a bonfire in a field with 150 pizzas and DJ.
So she did the wedding with input only when needed, and I planned the honeymoon, which I did enjoy planning.
1) all I want is for her to say yes when I propose, that’s the part that’s for me.
2) ask him to help with the menu and mention that BBQ is an option.
It was “her day”. So I had no say in the planning. My only role in the wedding was only to show up (duh) and make sure guests from both sides behave.
Cake tasting, cos who doesn’t love cake? Oh and touring venues, that was cool.
Honestly, though, what made me happiest was seeing my wife happy. She had far more ideas about color schemes and flowers and everything else. I was consulted on everything, but I don’t think I ever said no to anything my wife wanted, mostly none of it mattered to me other than the actually getting married part.