We are in an almost 3 years relationship. We’ve had our ups and downs, but we are mainly happy. His relationship with me is the longest he’s ever had. He’s (or at least was) a distant person, clearly an avoidant, but he managed to be affectionate with me. At the beginning of our relationship he used to talk to other girls online and he emotionally cheated on me with one of them. We both live in Europe and she was from China. That episode really hurt me, deeply, Even though we were only 4 months in the relationship. Back then, we were in a holiday in the mountains, and he Even apologized to her that he couldn’t text her. I found out about this 4 months in, while he got an IG notification. We had a Long talk about this and he decided that he wants to be serious with me so he blocked her. One year and a half later, a Google Chrome notification pops on my laptop (his phone was Connected to it), I open it thinking it was from me, but actually it was her IG profile, unblocked. I confronted him, saying that I was breaking up with him because I cannot be with someone who doesn’t care how much he hurt me. He assured me he didn’t talk to her, but I contacted the girl from my account, told her all the story and she said they didn’t talk.
Meanwhile, his parents got divorced and he has become really attentive and kind and he regrets all the pain he has put me to. However, we are going through a stressful period (we have a business together and we run a theatrical play) and I know his coping mechanisms, he distances and whenever there is a disruption between us, he gets distant and cold. Right now I am struggling because I don’t want to blame him anymore for the past, because he has deeply changed, but I still live with the fear that he might do something similar again.
What can I do?