Basically the title – I’m nice and funny around my extracurricular friends but if you asked kids from my high school class (who I’ve “known” for almost half a year) 50% of them wouldn’t be able to tell you my name. Even when a teacher asks how I’m doing my answer is a blank “fine”, practically the opposite of me with my friends. Trying to teach myself social skills doesn’t help since I already have them – they’re just hidden with people I’m not familiar with.
Would really appreciate insights as to why this is happening and what can be done about it.
2 comments
Sorry that I can’t provide you with much insight, just wanted to say it’s totally the same for me. While I finished high school 5 years ago my experience was and still is identical to what you’re describing. It is getting better though. I’m currently working at a coffee shop / bakery and I find that the constant interaction with customers slowly helps.
You seem to be a very introverted person and find it difficult to open up and trust other people. And there is nothing wrong with that. But if it really bothers you, try this:
1. Explore your strengths. You might be a good listener or have plenty of good traits like empathy, caution, etc., to offer others.
2. Identify your goals. You don’t need to have perfect social skills to make friends all around the globe. You may need them for a relationship, for example. Thus concentrate on things that really matter to you.
3. Participate in conversations more mindfully. Think about how you can add value to a particular conversation.
And finally, just be yourself 😉