A few days ago my boyfriend (26m), of pretty much a year, and I (26f) got into an argument in the car while we were parked in a busy area with lost of people walking around, shopping ect. I felt pretty not heard in that moment which isn’t a feeling I feel frequently with him as him and I typically have great communication. He’s always been a great listener and quick to do what he can to improve things in our relationship & I the same. Well, needless to say, this argument got a little more heated than normal and it was over a silly thing to begin with looking back. I raised my voice at him and he asked me to stop and unfortunately I didn’t… I know it was wrong but I was just pretty upset. Not trying to justify it… just trying to explain. Anyway, he covered my mouth with his hand. This did not hurt me but it freaked me out. I threw his hand off of me and struck his arm. That’s the furthest it escalated but following him touching me in the disagreement I had a full on ptsd attack.
When I was a kid I grew up in a very abusive household both physically and mentally. I was stalked, beaten, belittled and harassed by my parents. I was a preachers daughter and the whole experience really affected my perception of the world around me and also the people. For this reason I’m not sure if my perception of what happened is askew.
My boyfriend is a very sweet man. He’s never shown aggression ever and has always been a great support to me. Never has he ever put me down or made me feel isolated… he’s never shown any signs of abuse & trust me I’m very keen to the signs after my childhood trauma.
What I need to know is if this was abuse or just him trying to prevent a scene since we were around so many people. He understands very clearly now that this was wrong and has set up an appointment with his therapist to discuss what happened. I have also done the same as my ptsd attack scared me. I was shaking, crying, rocking back and forth it was horrible. Please help me rationalize this to understand if this is as huge of a deal as my ptsd brain is making me feel.
1 comment
What he did was definitely rude and disrespectful, but if that was the extent of his intentions it didn’t warrant your reaction. If he was unaware this was a trigger of yours, I think you overreacted a little bit.