What is a male-only orgy like and is it a good idea for your first time?

For context, I’m a 20-year-old, trans, gay man. I’ve been trying to lose my virginity for a few months now, but despite plenty of offers I haven’t done it. I am incredibly anxious and paranoid, and I can’t bring myself to go to a stranger’s house for fear of being murdered or worse, and I can’t host because of roommates. I’m not interested in dating and I don’t have any gay, male friends to try something with. I don’t really care about the first time being meaningful or romantic, I just want a good story and to avoid a negative experience so that I can have a relaxed view on sex going forward.

I’m on a lot of the apps and recently got invited to an all-male orgy, and I’m considering going to have my first time. It happens a few times a week and attendance varies between 15 – over 50 people. It’s not public (though getting an invite isn’t hard) and not in someone’s house, and there are no drugs or alcohol allowed.

Somehow the idea is kind of comforting the anxieties I have about hooking up. Not only would it be a lot more people, which would make it harder for someone to kill me, but I could also be more comfortable backing out without worrying about anyone having a hostile reaction. I’m pretty scrawny so I doubt I could fight off one guy if I had to, so being outnumbered doesn’t feel like it matters. It would be a great story for sure, and there would be plenty of options for things to try and guys to interact with, and I could watch other people to get an idea of how things work.

It feels like a horrible idea, but I’ve pretty much convinced myself it’s a good one. I need to get out of my own head and get some other perspectives on the situation, and maybe hear from someone with experience in group sex (straight or not) to get a better idea of what to expect. Any advice or stories are welcome, thanks.