How many dates it took you to find the right one ?

9 comments

1. I’ve dated over 30 women. Still haven’t pinned one down.

2. I’ve dated 9 women, and I’ve been on dates with far more than that. It’s just a numbers games sometimes. But each date and relationship taught me valuable and useful stuff about dating and myself which has been helpful

3. With her, or with others before her to know they *weren’t* the right one?

   My wife and I were best friends for a while, then just kind of both realized we were being stupid and wanted to be with each other.

   I remember, it was summer in between college semesters. I was in my home town, mowing lawns to help pay for tuition, and thinking about a couple of girls I had seen but knew it wasn’t going to work out. Maybe the heat got to me, or the boredom, but I had this realization that I absolutely hated the idea that my friend was (or might be) dating someone else – just an insane jealousy and regret for not realizing my feelings sooner.

   We had planned to meet up to go to a mutual friend’s wedding that summer. We did, as friends. And after the night, we both were finally just honest with each other, kind of blurting out our feelings at the same time. I knew that night she was the one. Never had any doubts.

   We “dated” the rest of college, and we have been married for 13 years now. She’s still my best friend.

4. Man I have up on dating a few years back. Trying to find a date is just hard. And finding someone compatible is harder.

5. There are two expressions that I like to go by here. The first is “every man will have the one that got away before he has the one.” The other is “feasting to mourning, mourning to dancing.”

6. Your question can be read a couple different ways…. (A) How many people did you date before you met the right person, or (B) How many dates did it take you “find out” she’s the right one, so my answers are:

   (A) Before I met my ex-wife 20 years ago, I had met “dozens” of people online in-person via coffee dates, dinner, lunch, etc., getting to know people before I found her. Probably 25-30, in addition to having a few girlfriends in the years prior to my online searching. In hindsight I wish I had kept looking…. This next time around, after divorce – looks like the third woman I’ve dated might be “the one”.

   (B) I pretty much know after 2-3 dates if there’s going to be the romantic spark I need to want to move forward. I did end up in a couple of FWB/casual relationships after my divorce, but knew pretty early on it wasn’t going to be “permanent”. My current GF however, wow – after the first few weeks, I was thoroughly hooked.

7. Three girlfriends and no dates, but only because I didn’t think I had the option of dating her, and I was scared to risk our close friendship on something I believed I knew the answer to.

   Finally before leaving school for uni I thought sod it and asked her out. The logic was it could be my last chance, and if it did go how I thought it would the time apart should ease the awkwardness.

   Turns out we’ve been together 16 years, bought a house together, married and two amazing kids. Biggest risk I’ve taken in life, but undoubtedly the biggest win I could ever hope for.

8. 25 years, still lookin

9. I haven’t yet, and with every new date I get more and more picky.