Me (20f) and my boyfriend (23M) are online dating temporarily until he gets his own place, but for a year he’s been forcing me to masturbate to pictures of women online. I never wanted to do it and I voiced my concerns about introducing this too early into our relationship, we have been together for two years. He’s my first boyfriend and very special to me I feel obligated to stay with him because I lost my virginity to him. He wants me to be a lesbian with the exception of him but that’s just not how I feel, so what started out as a very loving pair bonded relationship turned into a weird lesbian fetish. Recently I asked if we could do it less frequently (we do it every 4-5 days) and he went on a rant about how I wasn’t good enough if i couldn’t conform, my feelings don’t matter just his, and how he hates me for ruining the moment. I don’t know if this relationship is worth it anymore I don’t feel the same towards him like I used to, we obviously don’t have sex because we’re online at the moment so that means long months without any physical interaction. It’s making me feel attracted to other men since he doesn’t give me attention. I had no previous knowledge of his lesbian fetish when we first started dating, so now I’m stuck. He’s more understanding and caring in real life so should I confront him about this once we’re living with each other? Every attempt online has gone horribly. What should I do to get him to understand me?
Edit: I should have explained this in my original post in more detail but the reason I stay with him is because I can’t do better than him. He met me when I was at my lowest and gave me a reason to live, he’s the only person who’s ever loved me so it isn’t easy leaving him. This isn’t a troll post.
37 comments
what the fuck lol
Leave immediately. Your getting groomed to the max. No grown man wants anything to do with a chick that they met at 18& him 26. It’s cause he knows an older chick wouldn’t fall for the bs
Edit* this has to be a troll post. Day old account to post this bs ? Bruh ? Get some air
Dump him. This is abuse.
Hey, actual lesbian here. This is 1000% abusive and toxic as hell. You should absolutely never do anything you don’t want sexually and the fact that he says such horrible things to you if you don’t is extremely disturbing. I know reddit has a tendency to tell people to dump their SO on a dime, but sincerely, leave this man. A real, kind and caring SO will always take your feelings and thoughts into account to raise you up. Please do not move in with him and do not continue to date him.
You’ve heard of “don’t stick your dick in crazy?” Well it goes double for the reverse. Don’t let crazy stick its dick in you. He’s telling you things like “you’re not good enough” because “you don’t conform?” That is, or should be, instant-block language. Tell the abusive, fetish-limited control freak to lose your number.
This is crazy. If its real..dump him.
You need to break up
He’s forcing you to masturbate? Forcing you to be a lesbian? This is honestly one of the stupidest things I have read on this sub. Do you have no ability to say no to any completely
Ridiculous demand he might make of you? Give me a break. Just leave..duh.
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I really hope this is a troll.
All you will ever be to him is a tool to get what he wants. He does not love you and never will so get out now. If you comply and remain with him I can easily see him trying to turn you into unicorn bait. This guy is discussing and manipulative. Say that you are never going to do it again and see how nice of a person he is after that.
Sis, you do realize you have full control here, right?
For the love of Pete, do NOT move in with him. THat is a hard no. Things will get exponentially worse if you do.
Break up with him. Block him. Move on with your life. DO not ever let anyone make you feel like you have to change who you are in any fashion.
OP, is this even real?
If there is an ounce of truth here, it’s time to break up with your psychopath boyfriend and take some time to mature. Self love, self reflect, because someone who is in a good mental state would never tolerate this behavior from a partner, ever.
The fact that you feel the need to post on here for advice about that just drives me crazy! If you honestly don’t see anything wrong with what he’s doing then idk what to tell you! Every sign is there and right in front of your eyes. He’s grooming and manipulating you to be something you obviously aren’t or at least comfortable with. If he really loved you he would know it’s not right and he clearly doesn’t respect you AT ALL
Dump. His. Abusive. Grooming. Ass.
get out, get out, get out, get out, get out, get out, get out,
Run and leave his controlling ways behind! Be confident in your sexuality and what you want – it sounds like you definitely don’t want him, he’s a loser, dump his ass and enjoy the new single you, g’wan!
Do not move in with this man or you will be even more stuck than you think you are now!! How long do you reckon it would take until he starts asking to bring other women in and wanting you to have sex with them because he likes it? You already know he doesn’t give a shit about how you feel about it so bin him off mate, you don’t have to stay with him just because he was your first!!! You deserve better than this so tell him to piss off
Leave. First of all, hes MAKING you sexually do things if you aren’t comfortable. AND he says your feelings don’t matter? He’s manipulative, creepy, and in all reality is probably cheating. As bad as it is, don’t feel obligated because he took your Virginity, the man who took mine was the biggest piece of shit ex I had. You don’t owe him anything, he’s not worth your time, and he’s a piece of garbage for trying to force you to be a lesbian. You’re young, find someone who actually cares about you.
This is beyond insane. I don’t know how you grew up, but this is not how normal people behave at all. In any relationship, ever. This is abusive for everyone of every sexuality. This is not a fetish. This is crazy. Block him.
youre an idiot
So he can have unlimited threesomes.
While I tend to think this to be false, in case it is not, get the fuck away from this toxic POS
dump him
Your boyfriend sounds like he’s an idiot. You’re obviously straight so he shouldn’t even ask you to masturbated to pictures of women. If he doesn’t and won’t respect your boundaries, you need to end it.
He has a lesbian fetish and is incredibly homophobic/ lesbophobic. If he had any respect for lesbians, he a) wouldn’t force you to pleasure yourself to lesbian porn and b) recognize that lesbians don’t want men. He’s creepy and gross and I don’t believe you’re stuck. Not at all. You can leave him and his disgusting fetish in the dust. Move on and find a better man that will give you the relationship you want and deserve. Signed, a lesbian.
why have there been so many troll posts in this sub today
He can’t make you be a lesbian. It doesn’t work that way. You either are or you’re not. If you’re not comfortable with what he wants you to do, don’t do it. If he can’t accept that, then he’s not the one for you. You’re not obligated to stay with him. He probably wants to believe that if you’re a lesbian with him as the sole exception, then you won’t cheat on him.
Dude, I never comment on this sub, but I will today.
My ex was also trying to force me into threesomes/other weird women relationships and would get pissed at me for being upset. Like, seriously pressuring me to get my best girl friend into bed. Not being respectful in the slightest. He only cared about what he wanted. You can’t win with this type of person. They are toxic and narcissistic. This road you’re going down girlfriend? Nothing but trouble. You will never be enough for him and it’s a pass to cheat more than anything. He is going to gaslight you and do everything he can to get what he wants. He’s warming you up to the idea of threesomes to have his cake and eat it too. You don’t like women? Don’t masturbate to women. You don’t want a threesome? Don’t have one. You will find someone better. You are deserving of love and respect. I sincerely hope that you know that.
I hope this is a joke. If it isn’t, LEAVE HIM.
Is this troll post?
Woooooaaahhhhh!!!!! This shit is crazy. Get out while it’s online. This dude is fucking warped. SAVE YOURSELF!!!!!
Dude do NOT MOVE IN WITH HIM
Narcissist, controlling.. run. You’re never stuck, you can always leave. Anyone who forces, manipulates or coerces you to do something you don’t want to do is dangerous. Major red flag.
You need a therapist, not a boyfriend.
DO NOT I repeat DO NOT move in with this controlling man! You ARE NOT STUCK! Get away from him this is not a normal relationship!
Forcing you to be a lesbian? Wtf. I wish I could help, but this situation is quite peculiar.
You’re not stuck. That isn’t love. You can do better.
I don’t get it – how does he “force” you?? Esp since y’all are an online couple? This makes no sense