As someone who struggles with boundaries, I’d like to know how you keep social distance from others. I tend to give people too much of my time and I end up feeling unwell about it, like I’m giving and not receiving too much of the same energy back. It seems to me that people pull away before I do. Just want to know maybe what’s wrong with me or how you are able to avoid this. I end up pulling away as well, but I feel that I’m being too harsh, like it comes across that I have hard feelings about it (which is true but I try my best to hide it and act like I am not bothered). How do you handle this?
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People go from strangers, to acquaintances, to friends, close friends, and, sometimes, partners. Moving from a stage to the other requires that the two people have certain things. Take going from acquaintances to friends. The two people must spend time together, get familiar with each other, and have common ground. From friends to close friends requires trust, love, acceptance, helping each other emotionally and logically, interacting a lot, and so on. The reason your relationships might not work is mostly because you’re moving in too fast, giving too much at once. I’d suggest you move at a pace that’s good for the both of you, and that allows the relationship to grow. So, do give, but not too much, nor too little, depending on what the other person does. You can also talk it out. Ask them if the pace is too much and if it’d be better to slow down. Feedback from the people you want to befriend can prove very helpful.
Have you ever seen the movie memento? It is pretty good movie.