There is no easy way to break up and I am guaranteed to hurt the other person.
I don’t want to be a cliche, but our demise is genuinely all my fault.
Since the moment she asked if we wanted to be partners and I said yes, I knew it felt off.
All this time since, I’ve had the most wonderful experiences with her. She’s changed my life for the better. I love her and care about her immensely, beyond human feeling, even.
And yet. I don’t want to be in a relationship. Upon reflection, I find that every time she would check in, or display affection, or feel off about things, I would reciprocate or say exactly what was needed to reassure her.
I keep doing this. Every time. I say what I feel I *should* be feeling, what she is feeling, what perhaps I feel everyone expects me to feel, instead of how I actually feel.
And yes. It all came down to me agreeing to be partners. That was my first mistake of many. But in the moment, I felt like perhaps I could make it work despite my apprehension.
Now I feel I’m in too deep. I’ve really fucked up. How do I tell her I’ve basically been forcing myself to try and feel things I don’t?
Either way, I’m prepared for no forgiveness.
Thanks for listening.
2 comments
Well, you don’t tell her that. That’s an awful thing to admit to someone. But, you break up with her. Tell her that you no longer feel the same way (basically tell her all of this here, but without admitting that you have *always* felt this way) and walk away knowing that breaking her heart is brief, sticking around miserably would drag you both down for soooooo much longer.
You should be completely honest with her. It’s better to break up than be with someone whom you don’t want to be with, otherwise, you’ll always have regrets