This is just me ranting in my second language which is English, if there are any grammatical mistakes I apologize for them.
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Hi guys! So I don’t know how to explain this feeling to people around me, but I just don’t like when people touch me, hug me or kiss me. It’s weird, I know, but when someone touches me I just feel incredibly uncomfortable and as if my personal space had been invaded.
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To give some background, grew up in a family where physical contact isn’t a big thing, to the point where I can count on my fingers how many times my father has hugged me throughout my whole life, I don’t know if I have such a “disgust” of being touched because of the lack of physical contact that I’ve had with people.
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Nowadays, being in college and making friends has been a bit tough on me since hugging and just touching my hand to get my attention gets me feeling uncomfortable. And this isn’t a feeling I have with just friends, my sister tries to hug me sometimes but I just either try to go with it or find my way out of her arms.
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I’ve been in some romantic relationships but sometimes my partners wouldn’t understand why I didn’t want to cuddle with them or be too physical and I couldn’t explain the reason too, I just don’t like being touched by anyone.
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I never told anyone that I don’t like being touched, because I feel like I’d be the weird person and I’d be judged since I don’t ever understand the why behind my feelings too. So I’ve been in this place where I feel horrible about how I can’t be like other people and just accept the touch of others and stressed out pretending that I’m fine with physical contact and I really don’t know what to do or if this is even normal.
2 comments
This could actually be a sign of Autism. Struggling in social situations is also a sign. Maybe you could talk to a doctor/therapist about this.
It’s not totally unusual. I was more like this growing up and in my early 20s. I just became up front about it. And I would show affection with people who I cared about for their benefit. (If they need a hug then I wanted to show them I care in that way.) People around me knew this about me since I told them, and we all adapted to each other.
Being around more affectionate people did help me become more comfortable. But still it isn’t my first thought most of the time so I will try to meet people where they are especially if they are being understand of me. My husband is very affectionate so after 15 years together we have found a balance so we both are happy.
There are plenty out there similar to you. Like entire cultures. Don’t feel ashamed of it. Find your compromise. Fist bump or high five, and sometimes hug. (I don’t recommend that in a romantic relationship, that requires more:)