Me and my girlfriend are approaching our first Valentine’s Day and I originally was excited to go out for dinner, we haven’t been on a date in almost 3 months so I thought it would be nice, and maybe help us get the spark going again after a shit few months.
She then asked me yesterday “do I really want to go out on Valentine’s Day?” Because she has a volunteering activity she does on that day, and she was going to do it so that her “married colleagues” could go out on valentines instead while she covers the volunteer activity.
I asked her initially does she value her colleagues marriages over our relationship then? And she backtracked saying that we will in fact go out.
Im hurt by her initial response and I doubt she values the relationship the same way I do.
What should I do?
EDIT: we’ve been dating 10 months just to be clear
3 comments
So you’ve been dating for maybe a year, haven’t been on a date in three months and she doesn’t want to spend valentines day with you….are you sure she still likes you?
Could her married colleagues have been pressuring her to cover for them?
Different people put different weight into valentine’s day. Maybe your GF is the type that doesn’t really care about it, so didn’t expect to have plans because you didn’t mention it ahead of time?
At this point, if I were her, it’s about the value of her word over the value of valentine’s day. She has made a promise to her co workers, it would be pretty shitty to back out now. Can you compromise and go out on a date Monday or Wednesday instead to celebrate? That way, you can have a romantic date (and avoid the v day crowds) and she does not have to break her word?
That being said, the issue seems a bit deeper as:
1. This issue arises from a lack of communication on expectations and things you find importance in. Maybe try to have a conversation about what holidays are important to each of you to celebrate so that you don’t make alternative plans, and communicate shared plans far enough in advance.
2. A 10 month relationship and you haven’t been on a date in 3 months? Maybe this is why she didn’t expect there to be date plans on this day? I think you should both address the lack of doing things together and what you want out of a relationship. Because if this isn’t working for you, it should be talked about for compatibility.