Okay so i used to be VERY social and always have a community that didn’t necessarily understand me but still gave me the space to be.
In college, I was obsessed with and successful in being popular and actually made some real girlfriends through the process but am waaaay more conscious of my time now.
I’m having trouble relating to my friends like I used to and it’s not because I dislike them, but because the way we spend our time often makes me cringe…gossip, drinking, smoking, excessive photos, obscene fantasies, rash claims…is this all a normal part of having a girl gang?
Am I spoiled/ungrateful to want friends who make me think deeper than I can make myself think or is it a matter of looking at my friends differently?
2 comments
No, you’re not being bratty at all. It sounds like you’re outgrowing your friends. I see two possibilities here –
1. They behave like college kids when they get together to blow off steam/ unwind from the pressures of work/adult life in general.
2. They are acting like they’re still college kids because they haven’t matured since college.
It’s not unusual to want something different out of your friendships as you get older, a lot of people see their circle shrinking or changing entirely once they leave school or college and tackle the challenges of adult life. You could try organising some different get togethers that don’t revolve around alcohol and see if there are any takers who want to join in on something more activity or experience based or if you just don’t feel like you fit in with them anymore it may be time to move on.
I think it is normal to want friends who make you want to be better. You want to have meaningful and deeper interactions in life and the ones you have now still have the college mindset. There is nothing wrong with that. And there is nothing wrong with having a second friend group from them. Maybe being able to wind down with one and have a mature relationship and deeper introspects with the others