What is it like being the only male in a female-dominated room?

40 comments

  2. I’ve never had a problem with it except in the workplace. Single gender workplaces get weird fast.

    All male workplaces can be stressful and toxic, but thats kind of as bad as it gets. All female workplaces don’t get as bad on the surface, but it totally can and probably will threaten your job security.

  3. They can be pretty aggressive towards you and some may show an immediate dislike and will feel emboldened to be more direct to you about it. It can go from uncomfortable to toxic very fast up to including SH type stuff in my experience in a workplace were I’d most often be the only guy. Having some other guys in the room helps a lot to balance things out the same way I’d imagine if the genders were reversed.

  7. my field is about 80% women. my mentor is a woman. my first supervisor was. most of my clients are. when i worked in group practice, i was the only guy therapist.

    i was respectful and treated everyone as i like being treated. it was fine. being respectful is mostly about things you *don’t* say and do.

    ​

    my women colleagues were very helpful when i needed a friend who’d listen to me vent without judging me. hell, we all leaned on each other that way. it’s a strong antidote against burnout.

    when you’re suffering from compassion fatigue, few things help more than having a friend you can complain and vent to…a friend who totally gets it.

    ​

    and on those really terrible days…you know what i mean…when the worst thing imaginable happens, that’s when you *really* lean on your colleagues.

    about two years after i joined the practice, that happened to our newest partner. she needed a little time off after.

    and later, she said that knowing she had our care and support helped her get over it and get back to work much faster, and it was so instrumental in helping her feel better about the whole bad situation.

    ​

    i have much love and respect for my women colleagues. they’re just great.

  8. Normal. The way I feel in most rooms. Women generally try to be inclusive. So I don’t rly ever feel left out or othered. They can be a little more judgy than men. But 🤷🏾‍♂️, they’ve been judged their whole lives, so I get it.

  9. It’s fine. I know how to act around women and I’m comfortable with who I am.

    One time I did work a job where I was the only man. It was really cool at first. I started to make some good work friends and that helped the days pass quickly. But then I guess one pissed off another and there was drama. But not like out loud drama. Like the vibes were just wrong man. And I absolutely didn’t want to get involved. Except one of my work friends took the side of one of the people in the drama and my other work friend took the other persons side. And then I was the bad guy for not stopping being friendly with either of them. Fuck that shit sideways. I got another job so fast. I just wanna show up, put in my time, and go home.

  10. As a school teacher it happens a lot. Actually makes me more comfortable. I’ve always found women easier to converse with then men.

  11. I was taking a journalism design and proofreading centric course in college as the sole dude.

    Luckily it was mostly computer based.

    I am always generally quiet and would get the odd look when I asked a question during lectures to the also female professor.

    I began to realize I was in the wrong major here.

    I am generally interested in how media and history affects society and individuals, not so much presenting a voice.

  12. I work in public health so listen well…it’s intimidating and requires more care and concern for what you say and who you interact with.

    As much as people want to dismiss gender dynamics they are present especially in a female dominated room.

    You need to be approachable but not too friendly and you really need up make sure everyone feels heard and appreciated but not in a weird way…or they will turn on you….

    Being reticent isn’t good either as women do prioritize group dynamics more than men so being accepted socially is more important than the quality of your work.

  13. I feel fine. Though, there are times I do feel left out. Not for reason you may think. In a work setting and it’s just a bunch of women and I’m the only guy, sometimes they forget there is 1 guy amongst them so they’ll say things like

    “Ok girls…. and guy!” And my first thought is always “But I want to be part of the girls too! I don’t mind.”

  14. Mostly fine, although they’re much more judgmental and also talk negatively about their partners far more than men.

  15. A group women tend to turn assumptions into facts. You get judged untill you use your brain (knowledge from experience) in situations calmly but assertively. Yes, alot of women do think we all think the same untill we provide evidence otherwise.

    I grew up dealing with situations where I was the only penis in a room with bitter women and know just how bad the feministic assumptions can be towards men (which is why women tend to think I’m misogynistic not knowing I grow up around women who don’t sugar coat shit and say it).

    If/when you find yourself in that position for any reason remember to mind your business, if you’re talked to/asked a question you ABSOLUTELY must establish solid eye contact when communicating, hold your voice solid and calm. Keep a good posture and and talk directly as if you were an educator, if you don’t know an answer, “I honestly don’t know sorry”. Basically you *need* to be able to hold your own and not be a push over

  16. Depends. My first year teaching, my all female team just talked shit about kids all day and talk about what substitute teachers they wanted to bang. All those teachers have moved out of our school.

    Other times, they seem to have better insight about the students and where the kids are coming from. They do listen better then my male colleagues.

  17. I would imagine it varies a lot but, from my experience in group projects, hanging with groups of girls, a lot of words per minute, not much listening, and things generally running at a high frequency. Completely comfortable with it.

  19. Depends on the women. If they’re a bunch of man-haters, it doesn’t feel very good at all, like they’re putting all their father and boyfriend issues on you. Definitely a hostile environment (thanks, mom). If they’re all cute, and they think you’re cute, then it’s awesome.

  20. I call it a “normal day.” It’s not unusual since I’m a nurse to work in areas where it’s all females. We have a fair share of guys too so it’s not always female-dominated, but there’s no domination anywhere. We’re all peers and we all need each other.

  21. I was a teacher. I was one of 8 men among 45 teachers, so been there.

    For as much as women say they hate it when a group of men are sexist, women are the exact same when they get together without a lot of men around. I was harassed in every way women are by men.

  23. Happens to me quite often. My circle of friends is like 70% women, soooo..

    How is it? It’s great! They’re amazing people!

  24. You get to sit there while all of the conversations go around, over, under, behind your back, or even you become invisible, while the women ignore you.

  25. I deal with it daily. I feel I’m always on point and I have to have the right balance of charm, intelligence, and style.

    Whatever you do, don’t look at any of here boobs.
    If for one instance they think your a creeper, you’re done.

  27. Worked with 6 women. It was ok, but during lunch breaks their talks about sex would make a sailor blush.

  30. I’m an IT guy, I work in schools, the majority of staff are women. It’s literally a non-issue.. be professional at work. That said none of them are my boss. I’ve had more terrible boss-women than good, those are unicorns.

  31. I’ve been the only male on a staff of on average 12-15 ppl for the last 9 years. Honestly I’ve just always kept my head down and ignored the petty bickering. But here lately it has been getting to me. The making every small problem into a mountain. My boss, who I’ve always liked, has to “have a conversation” about every tiny issue. Lots of passive aggressive comments to each other. I’m ready to make a change.

  32. If it’s at work then it’s pretty scary. I would get harassed at least once but I need to let it go as no one would believe me.

  33. Went from a female dominant workplace to a full male one

    Now I will say for the female one, there was a lot more order. But the women would fight and have hidden language under their speech
    Asking for a guy’s opinion, would result in pretty much a nonchalant attitude… Because we know that it’ll just get done the way the girls want to do it.

    The all male staff however has been chill, less organization… Like way less and more lax. But the environment is more open to a less politically correct workplace, because quite Frankly there’s no one to get offended and we’ve become more buddy than coworker. With the women, the “boss” switch never turned off.

  34. Honestly, it feels weird bc women are wayy more judgemental and sensitive.

    In my current job, I found out I have to be careful around women bc they are sensitive and if you critique their work, they get paranoid and sad easily.

    Just my 2 cents……

  35. It’s alright. My female colleagues like teasing me and can get relentless with it, but I also have a group of moms protecting me from everyone who looks at me funny.

    The gossip is real tho…

  36. Depends on the context, but most of the time it’s not my thing.

    I’m not big on “dressing up” your words so to speak. You wanna call me an asshole? Just do it. I can work with honesty fairly easily. This second and triple guessing every little comment though is fucking exhausting.

    I just find that most guys are a lot more blunt, and move on quicker.

  37. every mostly female workplace i’ve been in was extremely inappropriate(i’m a white collar IT worker ad not some low level help desk shit).

  38. I work with ten women. It’s gossip, fucking gossip. New woman starts and they can’t wait to shit all over her behind her back, the insecurity that they are not good at their job etc. Just flabbergasted by how fake everything is, all the time. No ody gives genuine advice, just stock answer bullshit and passivity.

  39. My anatomy class in college consists of me and two other guys in a room full of just over 30 women. The three of us keep one another sane. Cool thing about being a dude is we just naturally fucking become friends after starting a conversation with one another about anything. Doesn’t have to be important, gossip, or any bullshit.

  40. Patch notes:

    -Masculinity has been reduced by 90%

    -Femininity increased by 50%

    -Social interactions increased by 20%

    -Dominance reduced by 30%

    -Tough acts have been disabled

    -Dark jokes are disabled, just like me

    -Chances of getting a GF have now been increased by 1%

    -Cognitive dissonance has now been added

    -Autism is now a risk factor

    -Chances of misandry has been increased by 20% (40/100)

    -Chances of misogyny decreased by 40% (20/100)

    -Multiplier for gaming related conversations have been removed

    -Multiplier has been added for beauty related topics

    -Gossip has been unlocked as a topic of interest

    -Depression has now been nerfed

    -You now get stuff done twice as fast.

    (I will expand at like 20 likes I guess)

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