I’ve been dating this guy close to 4 month and everything was good. We were stuck together in one annoying situation (driver canceled last minute and we were late) and he was annoyed by that, but I wasn’t.
I was joking around about the topic and he’s snapped at me. I got upset and stopped bothering him, it was obvious that I was upset but he didn’t do anything. After I calmed down I told him I didn’t like it. He apologized, I asked him why hi snapped and suggested how he could communicate with me instead. He agreed.
I think that now I just need to pay attention and see if it’s a pattern or not, but I’m just wondering if snapping is a “normal” thing to do or a red flag?
2 comments
(edit: grammar, spacing, emphasis and brevity)
It’s normal that everyone snaps at a certain point, even if it’s on a petty issue, because whatever triggered his reaction might have been the last straw that broke the camels back… though it may be the only straw you see.
What’s not normal is that it makes you:
> feel unsafe
or
> like you’re walking on eggshells more frequently than once every 3 months / longer than 2 days at a time.
You might want to give him a little more slack than that, but I’d advise against it. Guys feel negative emotions about as strongly as women do, but experience them much less frequently.
If he’s ***that*** moody more often or longer than that, there’s something inside that’s pushing him. Find out what it is, and if it can be fixed or worked around with medication, therapy, resilience training, changes in lifestyle, or giving closure to some unresolved issues.
Also recognize the possibility that, if all of the above solutions are explored and have too little an effect… the issue may be greater than both of you can solve in your time together.
I don’t like saying that last bit because too often people hear it and drop a good guy with a few issues that could have been fixed with some adjustments… but sometimes it’s the truth.
(source: am guy working through anger issues)
well now you know what triggers him and if you continue to pick at it every chance you have, he will leave you before you leave him, i think lol