So I [F20] have just started a relationship with my new boyfriend [M23], we’ve been together for just about 2 months. He’s everything I pictured the perfect man to be… attractive, talkative, funny, fashionable and the perfect amount of nerdy! All was going extremely well… until we made it official.
I’m not sure why, but all of a sudden I just started picking up on things that got on my nerves… here’s a few things;
– He corrects me a lot when I’m ‘wrong’ and tries to elaborate on my points more as if I am stupid and don’t know what I am talking about.
– Makes strange little noises to fill the silence when we are walking or doing a general activity like making a coffee or cooking, this probably shouldn’t get on my nerves but it truly does!!
– When I’m explaining or talking about XYZ, he will say ‘well I don’t like XYZ’ or ‘well I have a problem with XYZ’, it’s always about him. I can’t express my opinion without him interrupting and explaining his instead.
– Picks holes in my family and family members.
Not only this, but I really dislike being intimate. That goes from kissing and cuddling to having sex. I find myself coming up with excuses so we don’t have to have sex, such as being too tired or unwell. Plus, I find myself coming up with things I need to go do so we have to stop the cuddling and kissing. I just don’t enjoy it. It makes me feel grim and uncomfortable. It annoys me how often he wants to be close, I just really don’t want to get close with him at all. It annoys me when he squeezes me during cuddling and hums comfortably, I cannot stand it.
For a long while I’ve considered myself as a bisexual, but every experience I’ve had with men so far has mainly just been one time flings. I’ve always put off committing to any form of ‘official’ relationship with men, finding little flaws and using them as an excuse to not get together officially as partners. I’m starting to feel as if I used to just like the idea of being with a man, but just not in practice… the idea of being with a woman in the long-term is starting to be more appealing to me.
I’d like to end things with him now but I feel it’s too late. I’ve spoken to my mother about it and she feels I should give it more time before I decide whether I should break up with him, but I feel as if she is saying this purely because she and the rest of my family like him.
Not only this, but he’s constantly telling me he loves me and that I mean a lot to him. He’s such a lovely guy, I feel so cruel for this.
TL;DR I don’t like being close or intimate with my new boyfriend, little things he does are starting to annoy me, I feel like I just don’t like being in relationships with men.
22 comments
It’s never too late to end a relationship that doesn’t fit. He can say he loves you. He can even actually love you. But talking down to you, constantly correcting you, and talking smack about your friends and family are early indicators that he’s going to be a bad partner in the long run.
> I’d like to end things with him now but I feel it’s too late.
It’s only been TWO MONTHS girl what do you mean. That’s like, 8 weeks. If you can legally still abort a baby then SURELY it’s not too late to break up a relationship that has absolutely no future.
It’s only been 2 months and you feel grim & uncomfortable. It’s not going to get any better, this is not a relationship you should be in. He deserves someone who actively wants him & you deserve someone you actively want to be with. Don’t sink any more time, it’s actually more cruel to stay together when this is never going to be the relationship either of you wants.
>He’s everything I pictured the perfect man to be
he wasn’t, your idea of him was. but as you got to know him he couldn’t live up to your expectations, wouldnt be surprised if no one can meet those expectations
Honestly, he sounds neurodivergent.
The behaviors make you feel negative, and you should, at the bare minimum, communicate your issues if you want to have a relationship.
2 months or 2 years does not matter if you don’t communicate your issues with the person you’ve chosen to be your partner.
However, it’s clear from your post that you have made up your mind about where you stand with this person and should just break up because you feel you aren’t compatible. In the future, you should communicate with your partner about your issues and set boundaries that you stick with.
You can disregard the in the future bit if you feel you did do those things. I just didn’t get that from the post.
Tell your family what you told us. And dont be in a relationship just to satisfy your family. Also you are probably not ready for a relationship.
Before you got official you had a positive confirmation bias towards your bf.Everytime he did smth stupid – you ignored it. Everytime he did something good – you remembered it.Now it’s the other way around and he is probably the same guy he has always been.
That being said -> I know nothing about you, him or your relationship. So don’t listen too much to me. Listen to your gut, heart and brain.
Looks like you found out quickly that he is not perfect. Unless you want a miserable life you will need to end it.
You deserve a sex life with a partner that you just CRAVE and are so looking forward to the next time, can’t get ENOUGH at 2 months, hell 2 years… You get ONE life, and with it ONE sex life! If your family is going to come down on you for ending things with him, after 2 months?!?!!!! That’s too controlling. Especially if you voiced these concerns with them. Your happiness and satisfaction should be forefront in their eyes. DO NOT SETTLE, it will lead to a lifetime of regret, unhappiness and resentment towards this guy.
>He’s such a lovely guy, I feel so cruel for this.
It’s far crueller to keep him in a relationship where you could barely stand his intimacy and companionship. Set him free.
Gtfo. Run, and don’t look back. You’re not cruel.
If you found something spoiled in your refrigerator would you keep eating it hoping that it will get better? This is spoiled and will not get better.
Uh, this is the honeymoon period. It’s likely not going to get better. It’s worse when u live with someone, things they do annoy u. If it’s already happening now. It’s not too late. U haven’t committed urself for a lifetime. Being repulsed by someone touching u isn’t someone u should be with.
break up with him. end this now. you don’t like that boy, and you know you don’t.
i think if you’re already having regrets now, then they are just going to build up in the future, wake up and break up queen. You should be w someone who you love and want to be loved by. he’s not worth your time
What is good about this man or this relationship? You can both be wonderful people but that doesn’t mean you’re meant to be together.
It’s like Erin and Gabe from The Office
You’re in this relationship, not your family. If you don’t think it’s working out, either communicate your concerns with him or break up. Being clear with what you need is being kind. This may also mean breaking up with him.
You dont like being intimate with this guy. You dont like being around him, and he actually annoys you. He corrects you on a constant basis. He sounds a bit like an arrogant ass. Go with your gut. Dump him. And your family doesnt have to be intimate with him – so who cares what they think. Your happiness, your peace of mind, your sex life comes first before all others.
Are you sure that u feel attracted to this guy as ur boyfriend? Anyones opinion doesn’t matter if u don’t like him. U r in the relationship, not ur family, so don’t let ur family hold u back from doing what ur heart wants.
Too late? There’s no such thing. End it with him. You don’t like him.
Bruh abort and dip out
this post hits the r/relationship_advice formula.
He’s the perect guy… we get along in every way… but [insert major incompatibilities]
if you want to end it then just end it.