I (F) have a friend (M) who is a great guy. We’ve been friends for years, he is one of the most decent guys I’ve ever met. He is great at communicating, has many female friends so I know he can talk to and maintain relationships with women so I thought dating must be easy for him. I started watching him a bit more closely lately and I think that assumption was horribly wrong.
I saw this guy talk to someone he is interested in and I was just sitting there like wtf is he doing… I’ve dealt with guys like that myself but I thought it’s because they don’t spend much time around women. I’m starting to think that most guys just happen to be terrible at dating because they just don’t know what to do. I’ve noticed that women in my circle started dating earlier than most guys I know. Women around 30 also seem to have gone through more relationships that guys of the same age so it could be less experience with relationships for guys that’s the issue. Or maybe women are just better at relationships because our brains are wired to be more social. But it looks like way too many guys just have no idea how to do anything relationship related – how to get a woman’s attention, how to show interest, how to show affection etc.
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Could you at least say what he did wrong?
Of course it is easier for women to get guys than men ro get women.
No, they aren’t. Many? Maybe. But certainly not most
Due to the frequency that most decent men in the dating world are mistreated by women, this outcome is by no means surprising.
Depends on the guy.
But, of course men are clueless.
It’s not an easy skill to figure out and there’s misinformation everywhere.
The results do not return that women are more socially inclined or sociologically adept … women be on power trips like in no other era
Not really! Depends on the circumstances. Hit me up if you need advice.
AVC III
Sounds like one of those situations where this guys is great but none of the females around him want him. Sad
For your friend I recommend him talking to another guy who’s more experienced in TALKING to another woman, like a dad or uncle, or a player friend.
From what I’ve come across, most men aren’t used to speaking to women anymore because of fear or rejection or they auto think they WILL be rejected and make the fliring go badly.
He just needs practice, he will be fine as long as he gets some help.
this post is so vague that i really dont have much idea what youre talking about or trying to get across. can you provide some more concrete examples? this is just a lot of vague generalities here….
Men are typically not socialized to show their emotions well or healthily. And they’re not expected to perform the unseen emotional labour in platonic relationships like women are. Such as seeing things from the other person’s point of view and empathising.
So he may still be a great guy, just lacking a lot of the understanding that’s instilled in most women by this age. If he’s an actual nice guy, you can nicely call him out, and he’ll reflect on his actions.
Maybe because girls aren’t upfront , and instead of telling the guy to his face , that something he did annoyed her,so he could change it, they come here and write an essay about it – bla bla bla ,is this a red flag,
Me and my partner were friends for a year before we got together. Everybody around us suspected something was up to the point where I had to take a moment to reflect and I arrived at the conclusion that indeed something was happening between us.
After we got together he told me he had no idea this whole time and felt bad that our friends were implying that we had feelings for each other, as he worried that I would take offense at this. This guy I’ve voluntarily spent hours upon hours one on one though I’d be offended to be associated with him “in that way”. REALLY.
So while I personally find this hilarious it does feel a little like men are not really taught how to deal with this shit, and when they are, they often stumble upon pick up artists or some other harmful resource and the vicious cycle continues. I’d say your friend, while certainly awkward, is still within the better part of the demographic.
Women constantly have a ton of guys trying to get with them and have all the ease in the world of getting sex and relationships. a sizable amount men get used to being alone and as they get older, it gets even harder because they essentially have to pretend they know how to handle a healthy relationship for the age they’re at when they have barely gotten any attention prior. So yes, a lot of men don’t know how to do these things.