So about 6 years ago my current wife and I began dating. I recently learned that 4 or so months in she was cheating with her ex boyfriend for an unknown length of time. A few months after that we got engaged. We now have a small child.
I don’t know what to do. I feel insanely betrayed. Do I stay? Do I leave? If I leave, I feel like I’m abandoning my kid. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
6 comments
You don’t need to abandon your kid because you leave a relationship. You can still co parent with your ex wife. 50/50 custody is a thing.
If you want to leave your relationship- only you can know. But I wouldn’t stay with a cheater for anything.
Your wife lied to your face *every single day* for the entirety of your relationship. She took away your ability to make an informed choice because what *she* wanted was more important than what *you* needed.
DNA TEST. What won’t she lie about should be your mantra moving forward. Get you ducks in a row. No one can tell you what to do but protecting yourself should be no1. priority.
I would tell her that your whole foundation of your relationship was predicated on a lie and your are not sure you know who she is and whatntype of person she is….this a Character flaws od a deceitful person…you need time to rethink this marriage
You get a DNA test to confirm if the kid is yours or not. Whether you decide to stay in his life or leave if he **isn’t** biologically your son is up to you, but personally I couldn’t stay around the child of the woman who was supposed to love me and her ex that I “wasn’t supposed to worry about”. And I’m prepared for the downvotes and the explanations of why. But that’s step 1.
Step 2 is getting your financials straightened out and seeing how much a divorce would hurt your pockets, because you should not stay with her after learning this info. Custody(if the kid is yours or if you just want to stay in his life), child support, because as the man you probably will be burdened with support even if you get 50% custody. And you might have to pay alimony as well depending on how much you both earn, how long you’ve been married, where you live, etc…
Step 3 is pulling that trigger and starting your new life away from that foul thing masquerading as a woman.
Couples counseling