For context I am a sophomore in college. I believe that I have a respectable amount of friends, but most of them don’t usually go out on the weekends. Meanwhile I am usually (but not always) struggling to out on the weekends since most of them can’t go out, or just don’t go out in general. I have come to a point where I am just going to say screw it and go out by myself and try to meet people while I am out.
But there is one problem, I feel like if I were to go out by myself, I wouldn’t interact with anybody because I would overthink the whole situation of trying to meet new people and not go through with it. It’s just annoying seeing people being out when I wanted to go out and I end up staying in because I had nobody to go out with, and on top of that, people don’t invite me to go with them most of the time.
I just want to know, how can I get over the anxious thoughts of going out by myself and going up to people and introducing myself to them and trying to get to know them?
4 comments
When I was in your situation I learned to dance. Then I could have fun at the club by myself, I was doing something I enjoyed, and met new people and eventually ended up in a little dance crew. It was sick. But hey that might not be for you.
Going out by yourself and trying to meet people that way IS rather unusual. Usually only the most outgoing people can pull that off.
A more typical way to make friends is to join a group of some kind (study group, exercise class, volunteer group, intramural team, professional club, living group activity, hobby/interest group, etc.) and start having REGULAR conversations with people there. Then after striking up a conversational rapport over a period of weeks you would then ask the person to do something with you. Something like: study together, grab something to eat, go for a walk or run, hit the gym, check out a new part of campus, go to the bookstore, etc.
That’s how friendships are made. It’s really difficult to approach a group that’s already out socializing and just ‘make a friend’ that way, or even join their group.
Maybe try to get your friends to go out by inviting them out to eat, you’ll pay and a brew afterwards.. or get them to go out to a gaming Cafe that’s byob or something new and interesting like that… or if your into gaming go to a gaming Cafe by yourself and you won’t look weird at an open gaming session and get someone to grab a beer afterwards
I am a coach that uses hypnosis and nlp. Anxiety is not something you have, it is something your body does as a coping mechanism. In easy terms it’s a habit.. it is physical. It is actually pretty simple to re-wire, but the first part is becoming aware of the signs so you can interrupt it .
Can you describe how it feels, and where you feel it? How is you posture, your breathing?