Im a male, 20, like a week from 21 when it will happen. And I’ve been unlucky with my relationship life, feeling I got to behind and no one my age wants a guy who’s last kiss was at a New Years Party in HS. I’m going to Amsterdam in a couple weeks with some friends, and we will most likely visit the Red Light District, where a Prostitute will take my virginity. In my mind I’m too old to care who I lose my virginity to and longer I wait more behind I’ll be. Just kinda need confirmation that its not a totally miserable thing to do, and that I won’t look back on it hating myself.
15 comments
If you’re going to lose your virginity to a sex worker might I suggest that you NOT do it in something like the Red Light district?
Here’s the thing. Sex workers are people too, and that means that even though this is a business transaction, that doesn’t mean it is removed from the possibility of like being a friendly and perhaps even fulfilling business transaction on your side.
The key to it is contacting a sex worker who like you can establish some level of rapport with. Someone you can talk to a minute, let her get used to you, let you get used to her, so that you’re not just walking into a room with a strange woman and dropping your pants, hoping for the best.
I think its less the sex worker aspect and more like, the Red Light district and places like that are for people who know exactly what they want out of it. They wanna get their dick wet and NOTHING more. Finding someone who will talk to you for a week or two before meeting and let you two get to vibe together a tiny bit, I think that’s probably something you need, if you’re giving up on dating for doing this for rn.
It’s not a miserable thing to do. Virginity is not a sacred or special moment. It’s just a first time. You’ve had plenty of firsts all of different kinds. This won’t define you unless you fixate on it. It won’t damage you unless you don’t practice safe sex and aren’t considerate of your partner (although it is a business transaction, you should still exercise care and concern with the person).
All that being said, dude… you’re 20. Not old by a long shot. You have SO much time. There’s no such thing as being behind. Stop comparing yourself to others. It’s not a race. You will find relationships and form bonds as long as you don’t keep this defeatist attitude.
Bro I lost my virginity on a drunk night in Thailand when I was like 23, had been waiting sooo long for it to happen and afterwards you never really think about it again.
I got much more sexually active in my late twenties (30 now), so don’t worry about being “late”. It’s mainly a construct you play on your own mind (and social pressure doesn’t help either).
I would advise against simply because you will always think about your first time being with a prostitute, but if you have no problems with that I’d say go for it! Regardless, enjoy Amsterdam: my city 😉
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. It means different things to different people, just all depends on what it means to you.
I can honestly say that in the grand scheme of things, it didn’t matter if it was with someone I was in love with or not. I rarely even think about it.
I’m an older woman and I get the attention of a lot of younger guys. A decent amount are virgins. Maybe that could be an option? I’m sure they have subreddit groups in your area.
Go out and enjoy life mate. Have been with lots of prostitutes and always had a great time.
Nah bro, the sooner you lose your virginity the sooner you can stop fixating on it and move on.
My gedd you’re still young,but if you really want it go for it.🙃🙂 I was 22 virgin and didn’t even know how to have a proper kiss😆 thou I dated few.
I’ve lost it to my husband..married for 12 yrs 😊
its not a competition, you cant get “behind”. if thats what you want then go for it, yolo. it is kind of sad to pay for sex imo though
Lost mine to an escort when I was 21 (24M now). All through school I didn’t really have an interest in girls and they didn’t have an interest in me. Once I started working full time, moved out and had more of a life on my own the list just kinda grew from there. Having no interest until then I had no GF so decided I didn’t really care how it happened and just went and did it. Friends thought it was cool when they managed to pry the info from me days later and when asked how I lost my virginity I look back at it quite happily. I guess the point is just stop caring, there’s nothing wrong with it so have fun in Amsterdam with boys and make some memories.
It’s not a miserable idea but it could be a questionable one.
You’ll need to live with the fact that future romantic interests might be disgusted with the idea that you lost it to a prostitute.
Also you’ll need to be very careful and vigilant. I’ve heard that many prostitutes there were trafficked and/or are forced into it.
You don’t want to be responsible for contributing to that…..
I had sex for the first time when I was 22.
So you can wai
The red light district isn’t the best place for that. I would suggest searching for a better sex worker and let them know beforehand that you’re a virgin, you’ll probably have a better experience.
It’s cheaper than dating
You don’t have to work for it
I hook up with prostitutes every three to four weeks
Enjoy!
You aren’t “too old” or “getting behind”. FYI, there are plenty of women who don’t care that yoy are a virgin or lack experience. I found an amazing woman who gladly helped me learn to kiss when i was 38. She also very much enjoyed punching my card as well. We spent a wonderful two years together.
I really hate that society puts this pressure on guys. It will happen when it happens. Just live your life and don’t force it. If a woman doesn’t want to date you because of your lack of experience…she probly isn’t a good match for you anyways!
If you want to go this route to ‘get it over with’ please be careful as you could ruin your social life if you pick up an incurable sti.
Hey bro I really think its a bad idea, you are getting into this for the wrong reasons. Just because you feel left behind by your peers and think you are missing out, does not mean you should make quick decisions that impact your life. Living your life trying to catch up with other people is not a good way to live your life and is a one way trip to depression city.
If you do this what’s to stop you from doing other things in your life only because you saw other people do that thing. It is stupid and you should learn how to live more with yourself and not care what anyone else thinks. If they make you feel left behind because you haven’t had sex, fuck them, they are toxic people.
Also you think your life is bad because you see it as bad and don’t see the good. I’m a 22 year old virgin and never been kissed. If I only focused on that in my life hey I would miserable too, but I dont because I have good things in my life as my best friends, good job and a loving family.
Anyway its up to you bro.