i (F21) lost my virginity a few months ago and i’ve had sex 5-6 times since and each time i dont orgasm but i still crave and want sex, even if i know i wont orgasm.
the best part of sex for me is the intimacy and closeness and it gives me spank bank material for when im alone with a vibrator and can orgasm.
i’d love to orgasm during sex one day but for now i’m really happy with my sexlife.
does anyone else feel this way?
just curious.
26 comments
My wife is very much the same. Prior to me she has never been able to orgasm from PIV but her favorite part is the intimacy of it and says that she enjoys the act of sex way more than the orgasm.
I lost my virginity when I was 14. I’m 25 now and I’ve never had an orgasm during sex either, but I still enjoy it a lot as well. Feels good.
Most women I’ve been with were not able to orgasm during PIV sex but all did with oral. The few that wanted to make the effort were usually able to with lots of pelvic stimulation but everyone is different. It sounds like you are able to reach orgasm with a vibrator? Are you able to climax w oral sex?
use a vibrator during sex. ive never had an orgasm alone or with a partner so consider yourself lucky there. but yes, i too have an insatiable craving for s e x
Totally normal. Totally great.
I was sexually active for more than 15 years before I had an orgasm during sex, and that still requires a vibrator and being in a specific position. But that never stopped me from enjoying it. Being comfortable enough to have a conversation with your partner about adjusting position, or introducing toys takes time, and it sounds like you’re just getting started, and might not be at that stage yet. That’s totally fine! You’ve got all the time you want to figure out what’s best for you.
Trying riding him backwards. Have him lay on his back and you get on his dick with you back to him and keep your knees in but bend down onto your elbows to where his feet are almost in your face. The position of his dick always hits the g spot and clit. Happy Cumming. I never don’t cum, keep trying. Change positions if you aren’t feeling it coming.
This is really common. So many women, myself included, can’t orgasm during sex or through penetration in general. It doesn’t stop sex feeling good though.
In time as you communicate with partners they may be able to get you there with their fingers or orally, but again this will be with your clit.
Squirting is something different. I can squirt when my guy fingers me and it doesn’t feel like an orgasm, but it is very pleasurable, just in a totally different way.
As long as you’re enjoying it all, have fun!
I feel the same, been having sex for 4 years, with multiple partners, one serious monogamous partner. I discovered orgasms completely on my own and outside of the context of sharing them with others. I had been having them and understanding my body and how it feels years before I realized that orgasms are something that can be shared. I never solely associated orgasms with partnered sex and now I don’t need one for the other. I greatly enjoy my solo orgasms, and I enjoyed the intimacy and connection and pleasure partnered sex brings. I’ve been able to have orgasms during partnered sex with my current partner and it’s great, but it will never be necessary for me.
Then use a vibrator during sex
I orgasm during sex super rarely, but I still crave it (the first time I orgasmed during sex without toys with someone was when I was 37… I started having sex when I was 17!). The sexual desire is there whether you cum or not, the orgasm is kind of the cherry on top in terms of just pure biological satisfaction. Your brain produces loads of oxytocin (love/feel good hormone) during orgasm, but you still get some just by having sex and cuddling as well.
Orgasms are great and I masturbate frequently, but if I had to choose between masturbating alone and having 10 orgasms versus having passionate and intimate sex with a guy I like and not having any, I’d choose the sex with the guy. I could always bring my vibrator along and give myself one or have him use it on me. Best of both worlds. 😀
I was with a 36 y/o woman, married with two kids, who had never had an orgasm. I gave her one. You just need the right partner. I was 51 at the time, so experience is a factor. Try dating older. We know what we are doing.
To be honest, lack of orgasm aside, I think 99% of human beings feel exactly like you.
I had a FWB that was like that, but she also wasn’t able to orgasm while alone. Still she had a massive libido and great sex life
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years and been having sex for 1, for the first while I never came because I never really knew what I would like him to do, after a while we got the hang of it and it’s great now! However I cannot cum if it’s just penetration even though it feels good, so what we do is we do it normally and then once my boyfriend finishes he cuddles me and finishes me off with his hands which is great and works very well for both of us. The reason you are not having an orgasm could be because your new to it and you aren’t sure exactly what will make it happen when your doing it with a partner so I wouldn’t worry about it too much, the fact you still like doing it is a good thing, it means you won’t get bored and eventually the orgasm will probably come in some way.
Completely normal, especially if you are new to having sex. It’s easier when you have a regular partner so that you two can figure out together how to get you there. I don’t always have an orgasm during sex, but it’s still one of my favourite things to do.
As a person of a few more years with some extra life experience, why not have both? Vibrators are great during sex. Men enjoy playing with toys! The closeness and intimacy is AMAZING but an orgasm is part of the experience. No reason to not have both!
I don’t orgasm from eating a thick, juicy burger or playing video games, but I still enjoy those things!
This is the case with the majority of women I’ve spoken to on the matter. I myself can orgasm but I’ve figured out what’s worked for me, and I guess my body is just a lot more sensitive to sexual stimuli than others.
The fun part about sex is the exploration, try toys, sensual foreplay and setting the ambience with a romantic/erotic massage with teasing and build-up, or just whatever you think could help your style. Don’t shy away from asking to do things. Sex shouldn’t be this pressuring and nerve-wracking experience, it’s literally just about people giving each other all the pleasure that they can and enjoying the moment, and if you don’t get to the end that’s no issue, as plenty don’t.
Just wait. It gets even better.
When I first started having sex, I also never had orgasms. I just wasn’t comfortable touching myself during sex. I worried it would make the man feel emasculated (and two did get pissy about it). Still enjoyed sex a lot!
If I could give advice from past experience, enjoy but don’t start faking them. It’s way harder to come back from that lol
More normal than you think. And those women who can orgasm from penetration often can only do so in a very specific position. Lots of experience, combined with good communication and a partner you trust and can feel open with is will increase the odds. Once you find what works its pretty fantastic.
I’ve been active for like 10 years with a good amount of people and I’m still the only one who can get me off 😂 still like sex though
Yeah, I’ve (F) been sexually active for 13+ years and I’ve orgasmed maybe 25% of the time *during sex* over that time with a good variety of partners. Even now, the main reason I want to have sex is to feel desired, it feeds me ego and self esteem. And generally, there is a dopamine release even just during sexual arousal, so it’s good even if I don’t cum every time.
Roughly 80% of women do NOT orgasm from penetrative sex alone. Yes, sex is more than just for the purpose of reaching an orgasm. But you still deserve to have one. Tell your partner what feels good, what tempo/pressure/position you think feels best. And for the love of God!!!! The clitoris exists and should be played with during penetrative sex. Sex is fun. Sex with orgasm(s) is soooo much more fun.
Just gonna say that I lost my virginity at 18 and a half and didn’t have PIV orgasm until I was 31. I knew right then that I was going to have to marry that guy. So I did. 13 years later and I’m not sure I’ve had another PIV orgasm since but he’s done a great job at meeting my orgasm needs in general.
But to answer your question, yes it’s normal to enjoy sex and crave it even if you know you won’t cum.
Same but I’m a guy