I have a “friend” that is more like someone I’m friendly with and used to be in the same friend group with before I was exiled from it. They haven’t necessarily done anything rude to me directly, but have been very flakey and are uncomfortably close to people who are consistently rude towards me, which they are absolutely aware of. This person has my contact and pops up to me asking if I’m going to certain events, saying how much they miss me, asking about my life etc. Of course these are details I don’t really want to give to people who are in contact with people who are hurtful to me, so I’m unsure how I would respond in this situation.
This is also a very widely liked person in my demographic of where I live (18-21 year old students) so I am unsure if being direct and saying “we are not friends” is the correct option. I reckon it would be taken as a personal insult (thus fueling the abuse I already receive ) as well as it being likely I would run into them through other mutual friends anyhow.
How can I, in a non-rude way, help this person get the hint that I don’t wish to pretend to be friends with them?
1 comment
You can be neutral, short and boring in your responses. You don’t have to match their level of enthusiasm or friendliness (real or fake). Answer with “whatever, meh, nothing much, idk” and don’t initiate contact. That doesn’t mean you’re hostile and rude, just not interested.