Me(29f) and my boyfriend(32m) have been together for 2 years. In the beginning it was good! But now I just feel like it’s falling apart and I’m not even upset that upset about it. I feel like I’ve gotten past the point of being upset because I’ve tried to bring issues up over and over again and it just hasn’t worked out. He’s a great guy to me. Can tell he cares about me, does things for me but my problem is that he is so judgemental of other people. I mean he can find a negative in ANYTHING/ANYONE. And I just can’t take it anymore. The problem is is that we had planned to move in together in June. And I’m in the apartment that he is moving in to. And I just feel like I’m scared to leave because of 1. Hurting him. But 2 the logistics of it he’s been putting in money every month bc the only reason I moved in here is with intentions that he would be moving in too. But I’m just not happy and it’s not fair to either of us. I feel like I atleast used to be the only one who brought up the issues trying to resolve them. And he says if you’re happy im happy. But I just can’t see how he could be happy. This has turned me into the worst version of myself towards him. What do I do 🙁
Any advice is welcomed I just feel lost
TL;DR : I’m unhappy in my relationship. He’s supposed to be moving in in June. He pays some of the rent. Conflicted and scared to hurt his feelings
4 comments
Hey so I feel like there’s something missing. What are some other reasons ur unhappy? There has to be more than just him being judgmental of ppl.
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bit ly/Trainyourdog0 hope this helps.
If this is enough to break your relationship then you have absolutely no chance of maintaining a relationship of more than 5 years.
I get that you’re personally afraid to speak candidly, and guess what, that is on you more than it is on him (even if he hasn’t fostered a great environment). You must allow yourself to say your peace, regardless of outcome, to attain any measure of relief. Secondly, the idea that you’re operating on happiness, I’m sorry, but no lasting relationship just runs on happiness. It runs on constant work and mutual appreciation. Happiness comes and goes, but respect for a second set of eyes and hands will always remain.
You already know you want out. All there is left to do is bite the bullet. If you can afford the apartment alone than great, if not find a roommate for the duration of the lease then you can move if you want when it’s up. It might be nice to pay back whatever he has paid towards the apartment though if you can. But regardless don’t stay in a relationship you know you don’t want because leaving seems complicated or you might hurt his feelings. Everyone hurts a bit when a relationship ends. No avoiding that. Don’t waste anymore time and for all that’s holy pull the plug asap so things don’t move forward any further with the move.