Ill try to be short. Girlfriend of only a month has a really hard time orgasming and i havent been able to get her there. We have sex every time we see eachother which would probably be about 15 or so times. Ive talked to her about it and she tells me its just really hard for her although shes said shes been really close with me. Shes also said im the best in every way that shes been with but idk. I do a lot of foreplay by eating her out and fingering her for a long time before penetration and i last a good amount of time 10-20 min. I know shes orgasmed before from sex so its starting to get to me. She also told me shes squirted before but it was when she had sex for the first time after a six month dry spell. That one got to me for some reason. She also said its a lot easier for her to cum when shes drunk and i feel like she had a lot of sex when drunk in the past and we havent had sex drunk yet. I know im getting in my head about it but i cant shake the fact i cant make her cum when other people have.(but according to her, it was rare). Can anyone else relate to this?
5 comments
You are together for a month. It’s new for both of you and a lot of girls also feel pressure to cum. And that can also make it a lot more difficult for her.
You have to understand that it’s not your fault and it’s only leading to more problems if you see it this way.
Just because you have sex doesn’t mean she has to finish as well. It’s up to her how much she wants to try out. Ask her what she likes and what helps while you’re on it. Ask what she does when she’s masturbating alone and find a solution together.
This is neither your nor her fault. Its completely normal and takes time, trust and open conversations.
So it’s totally normal for woman to not orgasm during sex. Some woman need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. So maybe during sex, use your hand to pleasure her. Doggy style works great for this. If you are into toys, get a vibrator and see if that helps. Or even better, mention introducing a toy, and shop for one together. LoveHoney.com has a money back guarantee which you can’t go wrong with. If it doesn’t work out, you get your money back.
Lots of teasing and foreplay first. Look up people like Caitlyn V.
Doing it for a long time isn’t the same as having good technique. If she can’t show you try experimenting with different types of movement and different Rhythms. Try different things with clitoris and vagina. Also start slow with stomach thighs and mons. If you get it right she’ll tense or moan and you can do more of that. If you get her close it’s essential that you keep going with exactly that technique, dont change anything and use the flat of your hand to give her something to push against. I’m sure others can tell you more stuff.
Sounds like both of you have some insecurities and just need to relax a bit! If she cums the easiest when she is drinking that means while sober her walls are way up. Drinking helps her to relax & get out of her own way. 15 times in a month is not a high number but it sounds like she needs the desire & pressure to build up. So maybe not have sex 15 times a month & aim for less than 10 times a month until you 2 get more comfortable with each other. When this situation happened to me back in day, I was frustrated and yet determined to make it happen. So I asked my elders about it and they said that she needs to be seduced. I was like damn I can do that! One of their main instructions was to make her believe that you want her but don’t have sex. Let her pressure build up and when it’s time to have sex, you better show up & show out! I seduced her for like 5 days straight and on day 6, she grabbed me & said take it out! She was so damn horny that she almost came giving me a BJ! I was gonna lick her ill nana, but she no put it in me. After about 30 seconds, she came really hard, and I didn’t even do much in the moment. The bulk of the work was done before we even got naked! Some women need to trust us and desire us & we have to be smart about it and not mess things up by overthinking stuff. Be patient and seduce her with things, gestures, & words that you know will turn her on but don’t have sex. If she likes to be held or cuddle, then do it! It will help her to relax so you 2 don’t have to depend on drinking for her orgasm, in my humble opinion 😉