I discovered rather recently that I have an interest in CNC, but I’m definitely embarrassed to discuss with with a potential partner because it can be a bit intense to express that you want something so taboo.
So…those that are into CNC, how do you discuss it with your partner? Or what are some ways in which you’ve practiced CNC that you feel comfortable sharing?
Thanks so much!!
3 comments
Either the person I’ve met has expressed some absolute filth that makes me feel comfortable enough or I’ve met them on a kink based medium where such things aren’t so taboo.
I wouldn’t just drop such a thing on a vanilla person..
I just do it when they are inside of me. And assess the situation from there.
It’s not intentional. It only happens if I don’t have that talk with a guy beforehand in which sometimes guys are seemingly vanilla so I avoid that kink conversation.
While a guy is on top of me- sometimes it just comes out of me and I can’t control it.
Like I’ll say….
“No…no please…I can’t take anymore…it’s so big. No please….no more”
And if they start getting more primal then I’ll drop a “oh fuck please stop” and try pushing them off and slapping them and choking them and getting them to put me into submission physically and verbally.
**but** there was an instance where a guy said in response to my “no”
(and quite frantically if I may add)…
“No? Oh my god I’m so sorry. Do you want me to stop? Am I hurting you? Did I do something wrong?”
And that’s after the first “no” that came out of my mouth.
In which I responded in an attempt to play dumb…
“oh I meant yes…keep going I love it”
It’s different for me when CNC is traditional roles reversed and I am the Dom or feel like domming a vanilla guy- that CNC conversation happens regardless of how awkward a kink conversation can be with a truly vanilla guy. As a Dom it’s your responsibility to establish that open line of communication…especially with CNC. That requires rules communication and a safe word.
But if you like being the recipient of CNC then it’s a gray area in my personal opinion. Just don’t scar anyone that you’re planning on having sex with- it’s always best to be upfront and honest.
*That guy that frantically responded to me like that is still in my life. He has a girlfriend now but he told me “I will never hit you, choke you, slap you, or overall hurt you. Sex is for emptying one’s emotional tank into the other. Sex is a demonstration of love and appreciation…not pain.”*
I haven’t crossed him off my list just yet…as he hasn’t crossed me off his…despite the polar opposition of our sexual appetites.
**So just be upfront and honest.**
I think I’ve tended to start off with a bit of role play, where we pretend I’m not into it but I get seduced into it, or that I’m a good girl and sex is a dirty act and I don’t want it but it feels so good… evolving to him entering my house and just ravaging me whilst I fight back.
Trust and communication are essential though! You need a way to convey a genuine stop with a roleplay stop.