Hey there, so I’m debating on whether my lack of being social led me to not getting invited out again.
I was becoming friends with someone at work and we’ve been texting for weeks for long periods of time. He has many friends and I don’t. But he insists that he wants all of his friends to be friends with each other.
So, I got invited to hang out at the gym with his group of friends. I like being physically active but at the comfort of my home so this was a new experience for me. When I got there, I immediately retreated into being shy and did not speak much. It didn’t help that there were a bunch of dominating personalities there who already had a bond with each other, so it felt like I had an uphill battle to deal with by trying to fit in.
Also, when I tried to talk, it felt as if I was being ignored at times so that didn’t help my self confidence in the moment. Needless to say, it was made aware to me that they were gonna hang out again next week at the gym but the person I was becoming friends with did not extend an invite to me.
So, now I’m feeling insecure and disappointed in myself for not talking more but I also know that I never done something like this. I want to hang out with them again and be better but I don’t think I’m gonna get that chance again.
Do y’all think I’m overthinking my actions and judging myself too harshly or does this potential friend not want to hang out with me anymore because my inability to be social? Or both? What are your thoughts on this?
3 comments
Nahhhh don’t sweat it, I’ve hung out with TONS of different groups of people, they all have their reasons. Some are shy groups, some all need to be the center of attention, don’t assume they don’t like you. They could have very simply just not known what to say to you or are awkward themselves. What you should pay attention to is the fact that you DID the outing! That’s awesome and you’ve learned a little more about socializing, even if it isn’t immediately apparent to you right now.
Good job, give yourself an ice cream!
Id say you’re overthinking it. If you want to go again, did you make your intention known?
In a situation like that it’s helpful to pick ONE person and strike up a conversation. Start with one of the less dominating personalities and try to get a rapport going. That’s how you work your way into a group without feeling awkward.