My gf (38) and I (38) have been together for almost 2 years and share the same fantasy – seeing each other having sex with someone else. This really turns us on and we talk a lot about it during sex to heighten the experience.
A few months ago she spent the night at a male friend’s place. I went crazy imaging what happened and must have jerked off 1 thousand times! We had amazing sex back to back after she returned the next day and told me all that happened.
A couple of weeks back we went to see a swinger couple and swapped partners. This was our first experience together and we were both very excited. This was all I fantasised about and saw another man fucking my gf for the first time ever but for some reason I couldn’t maintain an erection. I was both embarrassed and confused. Is this fantasy just in my head?
Looking to hear from anyone with similar fantasies and experiences if this is normal for the first time. We’re about to try again with another couple and I’d appreciate some advice on how to make it a better experience for everyone.
4 comments
It sounds like the fantasy for you is pleasurable, but the actual experience is not. Many people have reported the same experience on this page. As you have said, the fantasy is just in your head. At this point, you need to assess your options. Speak to your gf and see what she suggests. You could always try the little blue pill or the other one (cialis).
Veteran of sharing my wife many times, here.
Don’t worry about it. The reality of seeing her with another guy can get into your head a bit. Every now and then, I have had minor erection issues even when I was crazy into it.
Advice: consider popping a cialis before a meet. Even a low dose like a 5 MG does physical wonders, and it can help give you a psychological boost so that you overcome any possible issues. Generic cialis is cheap and easy to get from your doc.
Give yourself a break, realize that you are not a sex robot. Next time, go down on her or the like to feel involved. Maybe chat with her about what happened, make sure that she doesn’t neglect you – often in swaps, you get the “new toy” syndrome, and your partner focuses on the new person and maybe doesn’t pay as much attention to you as is beneficial. A good conversation helps that a lot.
If you aren’t disgusted by the fantasy having lived it, you just had issues getting hard? You’re fine. This is not at all unheard of. It gets better.
Performance anxiety is extremely common for the first time or two (or more).
Personally, I think it’s because most guys don’t consider the fact that they will have to get hard and perform in front of another guy until it’s actually happening.
I’ve been with 15-20 couples, and even experienced swinger couples still have to deal with it sometimes. My first time as the extra guy was pretty rough, I kept going soft as soon as my dick wasn’t inside of her pussy or mouth.
Most people learn to relax after a few sessions, and now I can carry on casual conversations with a husband while fucking his wife.
Stage fright is normal till you get comfortable