Or does it work the other way? For reference, I’m 23 F and I have 2 dates lined up with guys, one who’s 31 and another who’s 39. They’re way more attractive than any guys my own age who I’ve gone out with by a mile and I just want to manage my expectations.

*older white men if that matters lol (I’m a WOC)

14 comments
  1. You’re not in for a good time. I’m a mid 30s dude and there’s no way I would be going after a 23 year old for a serious relationship. These guys just want to fuck.

  2. Well Actually I agree 30 is probably the limit where you have the guys that are single be single out of decision not to get into relationships and just slam, and the guys that are for some reason unlikeable/ awkward / simps

  3. 99% chance they want to pump and dump, especially with you mentioning how good they look. 1% chance they arnt messed up people and simply just haven’t found the one yet, and a 0.0001% chance your both in the same places in life.

  4. Older people in general men and women have their lives figured out. Career and themselves as a person. And that maturity and stability is attractive especially when you yourself are trying to figure life out in your 20s.

  5. Cute 20 something girls have more luck finding whatever they want haha, i think it’s that simple. If you were looking for fun party yacht guys, it’s easier when you’re 21. If you’re looking for older guys that have long term goals/desires… it’s also easier when you’re younger.

  6. 25F here, and I’ve had better luck dating men 35-45.

    I don’t think my experience is the norm, and I’ve probably just been lucky to meet some really great people. More often than not it doesn’t seem to be a great match when my friends describe dating older men.

    My final deciding factor when I wondered if I should date older men… if it helps and for what it’s worth;

    Reason NOT TO date older/younger:
    You think something about it will be better/different than another age group.

    Reason you should date older/younger:
    You are attracted to older or younger people.

  7. Good luck. Way too often the differences in lifestyle and experience is too big. It can become a powerplay. My friends have really really bad experience with it.

  8. I don’t think she per se matters to whether they want something long term. I think LTR and str cut across age.

    The more relevant information is their history. How long have they been single? How long OLD? What are the lengths of their last three relationships. How many women did they say love to? Etc…

    Good luck

  9. Maybe. While large age gaps do lead to serious relationships, it isn’t common. I’m almost 30, and I wouldn’t usually consider someone 8+ years younger than me for anything other than a hookup. So maybe for the 31 year old, but I would be very suspicious in regards to motivations of the 39 year old.

  10. Older men have far more to offer and many are looking to settle down into something serious now that they’re established

  11. I personally think lockdown fucked up most men’s dating experience.

    I was 24 and lockdown tbh made me have to focus more on my career and finding some other job. This then in turned consumed my life and harder to date

    Men aged 30 now probably had that experience and couldn’t find that good pool when they were 27 tbh

  12. No. Older men are just as predatory and immature as men ur own age.

    My mum and dad had a huge age gap, he used her, manipulated her and discarded her once he was done.

    Older men date you g women for their looks, they’ll throw u aside quickly

  13. No. Older men are just as predatory and immature as men ur own age.

    My mum and dad had a huge age gap, he used her, manipulated her and discarded her once he was done.

    Older men date you g women for their looks, they’ll throw u aside quickly

  14. I’m 36. If I was going on a date with someone your age, it would probably only be because of physical attraction – I can think of zero scenarios where I would want to seriously date someone that was born when I was in high school.

    For one thing, my friends would make fun of me (“robbing the cradle” and “hey Leo!” jokes come to mind immediately), for another thing – and with all due respect – what the fuck would we have to talk about? You’re two years out of college or whatever, I’m almost 15 years into my career. Even moreso for the creepy 40 year old who’s trying to ball you. Less so for the 31 year old guy, but it’s still a fairly dramatic age gap.

    Age gaps aren’t just a number, they represent an experience gap as well. Different phases of life. I get that some guys date younger women (my fiancée is 3 yrs younger than me, for reference), but huge age gaps tell me those men just aren’t mature enough to date women of a similar age. In the case of the 40 yr old guy, it’s monstrously icky.

    So yeah, you can get laid. You may even get an allowance lol. But it’s unlikely someone those ages will take you as seriously as you likely deserve to be treated. Proceed with caution (particularly as a WOC, there are additional considerations that are just above my pay grade to discuss).

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