I am struggling with my new housemate. I have lived in some wonderful shared households, and I have also been in some nightmare situations. More recently it has seemed like the later, since the lockdown has come and gone things seem to have been harder.
I’m struggling at the moment with a housemates inconsistent and unpredictable behaviour. Some days she is very friendly warm and chatty and other days is very moody, will barely speak or ignores me altogether. She says she struggles with mornings I figured I’ll try and give her space, but she started a conversation today in the morning (she was laughing and we had a conversation about a baking tray). Then 5 minutes later went back to ignoring me and seemed annoyed. Nothing major happened before this, all we spoke about was a baking tray getting old and she just seemed to just switch. I have bought a new one for everyone to use problem solved and doubt it’s really about that. But I’m starting to think she might be controlling.
Since I’ve been here she’s made strange comments, laughed at me about me changing my shoes, made condescending remarks that I’ve brushed off about the food I eat, and she questions me a lot. I have taken two weeks to pack up my things, move them and unpack in between busy work schedule and full time study, I started the process on the day we agreed and moved in faster to help her out and paid the rent in advance but she still made condescending remarks about me needing time for moving in and I didn’t understand if that is even something to make condescending remarks about. I guess there was an unmet need that has been expressed passive aggressively and I don’t know how much of that kind of behaviour I can tolerate these days.
When I first met her she seemed really lovely, very friendly, open and kind but more recently I’m starting to get an ick and think it might be better to avoid her.
It’s hard sharing your home with someone. I don’t expect much, I am always clean and considerate and pleasant. I try and keep my emotions to myself. I just wish we could be cordial when we cross paths and that things were more stable. One of the main reasons we moved in was because we both prefer the presence of other people, or maybe she was just saying that because she wanted to get someone in to pay the rent?! I don’t know
I don’t know what to make of the ignoring, is this normal? I’ve seen mixed thoughts about it on reddit. I’ve lived in share houses for over 13years and never seen anyone behave like that. I have only been living here for 3 weeks. The first week was great but it just seems to be going downhill now. I told her I find it hurtful and she just huffed at me. It feels tense here.
I want to be constructive and plan to gently chat with her about boundaries and try and bridge some mutual understanding, but I’m not feeling good about it.
Time will tell. I guess I just need someone to talk to about it I am new to the city I don’t have a lot of family around and my friends live far away 💛 thank you for reading if you’re still here
1 comment
She sounds bipolar and may have mental problems.