I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a little bit over 2 months now. We saw each other a couple of days ago before my exams, we were chilling at his place after going on a little date and he told me had good news and bad news. He started with the good news, and told me he likes me as a friend/best friend a lot, that we get along really really well and he cares about me a lot. Bad news were that he hasn’t had romantic feelings for me for more than a month now. I asked him if I could do anything for him, to be a better girlfriend, if it was my appearence etc but he said I do everything perfectly. He didn’t outright say he wanted to break up, he said we can maybe try seeing each other for a little bit more to see if he can get those feelings back. It’s not the first time we have this kind of talk. He keeps finding himself in a loop of “Now I like you, now I don’t”. I love this dude more than anything, so this hurts me a lot. I’m attracted to him in every single way possible but the fact that he doesn’t love me back, only liked me for about a week and will probably never be sure about his feelings, breaks my heart. I thought I just wanted to give love to someone and I feel so selfish now for wanting that back. We haven’t talked in a while since I had exams, but in my head we’ve already broken up even though he hasn’t made it official. The way we’ve been communicating about this issue so far, he’s gonna make me choose whether I want to break up or not. It’s driving me insane. I love him but I feel like I’m being toyed with. But I love him. So much. I don’t know what to do.
Tldr: my boyfriend doesn’t see me as a girlfriend (have romantic feelings for me) after 2 months of our relationship. He’s willing to stay in the relationship and see if he can get them back. Should I stay in a relationship with someone who doesn’t like me but is willing to “work” on it?
5 comments
Ugh that sucks. I’m sorry. You should clarify that you are broken up, and that you aren’t interested in a friendship with him right now because you are still romantically attracted to him. You need space away to move on.
He should have made this a cleaner, clearer break. He should not put it on you to end it. But, it is over. He is not into you. That sucks. Go take time to feel your feelings, be sad, be mad, and eventually get over him.
Its been 8 weeks. Let it go.
Take control of yourself sister. Don’t let another guy change you or ask what you can do better for him.
HE is the issue.
Two months in and it’s already fizzled out. Just let this go. You aren’t in a long term relationship with a strong foundation and serious ties to each other, where it would make sense to exhaust all possible solutions before giving up. You’ve only been dating this dude for some weeks, and if he were right for you, he’d still be all over you at this point. Don’t destroy you self esteem trying to force something that just isn’t there, and frankly, probably never was there to begin with.
He stopped having romantic feelings for you less than a month into your relationship. This should be the honeymoon phase, and he’s already having to work hard on getting back those feelings? Frankly, at this point I’d be skeptical he even had them to begin with, if they disappeared so quickly.
Please do yourself a favor, cut your losses and break up with this guy. This clearly has no future, and he is too cowardly and/or selfish to end the relationship himself, so it’s really only going to happen if you take that step. Loving him isn’t enough, it’s not a healthy relationship if he doesn’t reciprocate that.