I(23f) hooked up with Derek(25m) who I had a crush on years ago. As it being my first time to EVER do that, where are things going from here?

Idk where to put this, so hopefully somebody sees it.

To start this off you should have background knowledge. I (24f) met this guy, we will call him Derek(25m) when I was hanging out with some friends around 8 years ago. I used to be the hookup for most people in town(🌱) so I used that as an excuse to hang out more. Fast forward and Derek stopped coming around and I moved on from that lifestyle and got an actual job and just yanno, living life. Well I have had a lot happen in the past few years(failed relationships, losing family and friends) I became a major loner when I was in an abusive relationship and didn’t take the time needed to fully get better when I got engaged to a different man who gave me a beautiful baby girl. Obviously, that didn’t work out or I wouldn’t be here. 🤦🏼‍♀️ I take time to just go through everything and was riding some real low lows. Finally I start to feel kind of human again.

Now I feel ready to get out and mingle and maybe mess around. I saw Derek when I was out one night and we chatted for a while just to catch up. Fast forward another 8 months and we decide to hang out so we can catch up again.

Day of everything:
I met Derek up where he was at and imediately I knew this was not going to be your average night. (Let me add quick that I am not the hookup type. I’ve never had a relationship that wasn’t minimum 2 years). We finish up at the first bar and I drive him to the next place. We are out having a great time, lots of laughs and just chatting with everybody and anybody that is around. I ended up drinking WAAAAY more than I planned to. He drives my car back to his place so I can sober up before I drive home. I said a lot of dumb/cheesy shit(what’s new) and I was trying my best to just be chill. Obviously one thing led to another and next thing I knew he pinned me up against a wall and I was all in. The obvious happens and we just go back to chillin until we pass out on the couch. The confusing thing to me is while we were watching a movie on the couch, we started to make out and he stopped and said something along the lines of “this is gonna get messy” now to note, we each have a daughter and are working that part of our lives out yet. I had said something like “that’s okay with me”. I also know he could have been referencing to sex itself. What do you think? He kissed me goodbye multiple times before I left his place.

He has messaged me very minimal since everything. I just want to talk to him about where this puts us. I don’t mind just being fwb, but I wanna know what exactly is happening moving forward. I’m extremely attracted to this man. I genuinely didn’t expect to hookup as I am not the most attractive person, and I’ve NEVER been brought to a mans house after going out. I might get some sly compliments or somebody telling me that I am cute when I am out on a rare occasion, but I always had gone home alone.

Do you think I was just an easy target for him, so I was just a random hookup? Was it that I just said some dumb shit, or would it have been weird in the morning if that was the case? I’ve never hooked up like this before guys, my mind is all over the place. I have only sent one more text and one snap since. This happened on Mon. night – Tues. morning. Am I just letting my head get to me since it hasn’t been that long? I know his work schedule just from how much we talked before we met up, so I could stop by and get him a drink after he gets off work. We’ve seen each other at the same bar a lot, so I could easily run into him there. I would prefer to meet up so we can chat and just discuss everything before we see each other in public again. I also don’t wanna be a bother because I know he is a busy man. What do I do? I can’t stop replaying the night in my head to the point it is driving me absolutely bonkers. Anybody have advice?

TL;DR I (24f) met Derek(25m) 8 years ago and had a huge crush on him. Fast forward we have chatted a lot and seen each other out and about, until we finally met up and hung out to catch up. We go to his house and hookup, and now I don’t know if it is just fwb or a one time thing. There was a lot of sensual kissing and cuddling and even kisses goodbye. How do I find out what everything means? Was I overboard with my no filter mouth? Do I just try to forget about it even though it is replaying in my head over and over again? I feel like I am going insane. This was my FIRST TIME EVER hooking up with somebody, so Idk what this means.