So in past experiences I’ve had trouble getting it up with a partner. And for some reason it rlly stuck with me. Talked about it in therapy and I’m trying to have a better relationship with my body. Some days though I feel like I’m doomed that I’ll never get it up with anyone ever again and it just spirals. I’m also not the most experienced so I’m taking that into consideration but damn the thought sucks. I Started talking to a girl (long distance) who’s coming soon so if nothing works atleast I got my hands and tongue.
TLDR- Feel like I’m never going to achieve erections due to past events
2 comments
Been there. A long time ago and I usually ignore these kinds of posts, but something about your desperation compels me to provide you with some guidance. Maybe it will help.
I can’t comment on the effectiveness of therapy. It may work for you, but I fought the battle myself, so I’ll pass along some things that I did to help myself.
First, you need to find a way to take the pressure off if this is purely performance anxiety. I assume you are getting hard erections at other times, but are failing when the moment of truth arrives. One fairly effective approach is to be as upfront as possible with your partner about what you’re dealing with. If you’re with a good partner that can connect with you on a more emotional level, it can help ease the feelings of stress and anxiousness. You need an understanding partner willing to be patient and work through these challenges.
Second, be willing to share what really turns you on. Much of this battle is in your head of course, so it makes sense that if your partner can provide that special stimulation, whether that is sexy lingerie, dirty talk, or some other kink, this can go a long way to helping your brain to get into the mood. So many times guys just expect things to be automatic down there, but that’s not always going to be the case.
Finally, there of course are meds that can help, but they don’t directly change the mental aspect of ED. Taking the meds can potentially give you more confidence if you believe that the med will help. Similarly a cock ring can assist in maximizing the blood that does get into your penis by helping it stay in there, thus building your confidence. If you look up my post history you’ll find some discussion and recommendations regarding how to choose the right cock ring and size it correctly.
Good luck. Take it easy on yourself and find a partner who can help you get over this hurdle. 🙂
Appreciate it man definitely taking some of your advice