I wish I could be more casual with friendships, but I feel like I bond too quickly with people and feel more for them than they do for me.

I feel like I put more significance into interactions and feel closer to people than they do to me. An example is a tutor at the school I work out. We worked together on assessments for a period of time. I thought over those few days we got along really well and I developed a bit of a friend crush on her (we’re both women, and talk about all sorts of unrelated-to-work stuff). One day she just didn’t show up to the usual place we meet to prepare the assessments. Later I found out she just decided to go back to tutoring for a bit and save assessments until later….but she didn’t let me know. So I kept checking that room throughout the day to see if she was there. Then a few hours later she approached me later and asked if I would help her with assessments, like everything was normal. I was surprised she didn’t let me know about changing her mind….like the fact that she usually met me at that time was something she didn’t remember. Another example is this guy in my class I used to sit next to every day for a semester. I thought we had grown somewhat close as class friends. We spoke about some personal subjects. But this semester he has chosen to sit on the other side of the room and not sit next to me. Occasionally he will come over and sit next to me again and he still talks to me and acts super friendly a lot of the time, so he doesn’t seem to have a problem with me.

There are other examples like this. It’s embarrassing that I get up in my feelings about such tiny things but I guess it makes me feel kind of pathetic, like I am interested in keeping a consistency in the relationship they have no desire to keep. I think I process these as mini-rejections in a way. I know I should just chill and accept these are just casual relationships and I am not close to these people, but I guess I get attached too quickly or something? Maybe I have a clingy personality I need to work on? I don’t know if others feel this way.