(37F) Living with boyfriend 20 years older because of health issues

Hi there,

I’ve been thinking about this for a while and wanted to get some anonymous advice from the internet about my relationship.

Background:

I’m (37F), attractive and successful but haven’t had much experience with stable or healthy relationships due to past addiction and mental health issues. My longest, most serious relationship was in high school/college and when I was dealing with my issues those men were basically toxic/addict relationships.

I met my current boyfriend (57M) socially through mutual friends and we were casually dating even though I didn’t like him when I first met him. I thought he was too old and a womanizer since he’s never been married and has dated lots of younger women casually throughout his life.

After a few months of hanging out, I got really sick physically and was unable to live alone. I moved into his place and he took care of me and helped me keep my job by keeping me out of the hospital. He does all the cooking and cleaning while I just focus on my job.

We lived together for three months and I was mentally unstable due to the physical illness and we got into some pretty bad, toxic fight over me attacking him with jealousy issues that were unfounded. ( got pissed off about finding old shit from women in his closet and his ex girlfriend calling him on a friendly basis).

I broke up with him for 6 weeks at which point I returned to my apartment and tried to live alone. I got very depressed and unable to take care of myself so we got back together.

There are two sides of this story. He loves me and puts up with my physical limitations and mental illness. He says he hasn’t been in love like this before (even though he was engaged two times when he was younger) and that the sex is phenomenal. He says he wants to marry me and build a life with me.

I do love him but I don’t find him to be interesting as a person or intellectually stimulating. We have our domestic routine and I often find myself bored in the relationship which contributes to my depression. He is a good boyfriend, loyal, faithful and honest and even brings me coffee in bed. Nothing is really wrong in our relationship. The sex is amazing. We are committed and worked through a lot of our issues to build a deep level of intimacy.

Due to my lack of relationship experience, I wonder if the boredom and lack of stimulating conversation is a red flag or if it’s normal in older adult relationships? I wonder if I feel that way about him due to my depression and lack of friends and if I’m running a good relationship and genuine love due to self sabotage?

Please advise.

TL:DR chronic physical illness and mental health issues forced me to move in with my boyfriend for 5 months. We’ve been dating for 10 months and he is 20 years older and wants to settle down but I’m
Bored with him.