Mothers old and young: what are your experiences with Childfree people surrounding your parenthood and your littles (even if they’re not so little anymore)?

14 comments

1. The vast majority are entirely chill and often very kind to my child. Some are not. The ones who aren’t are usually teenagers, so I don’t really take their opinions to heart.

   The worst are usually pet owning adults who think their dogs are more deserving of public spaces than my human child. I think they feel some kind of competition? Like, they’ll get angry if my child so much as looks at their dog in a public park (I’d never allow my child within reach of a strange dog, so it’s not like he’s touching them). It’s bizarre, but pretty rare.

   Also, I’ve noticed that a lot of childfree people can say really stigmatizing things about pregnancy/childbirth. I don’t really appreciate that.

2. I use my kids as their daily birth control reminder and I’m not afraid to admit it 🤷🏻‍♀️

   I have a 9 year old boy and I’m pregnant with a baby girl. I am the most honest, non-sugarcoating friend they have so they know I will always be straightforward with them if and when they have questions concerning pregnancy and childbirth and simply raising a human.

   I am usually the one to tell them to enjoy their child free life, to enjoy their money, to enjoy their peace and quiet, to explore their career, etc.

   Having this type of responsibility is hard and I make sure they realize and see the pros and cons of starting a family.

3. In real life, it’s been completely positive experiences. They enjoy the company of my kids (or maybe they don’t, haha), but they never say anything rude or hurtful.

4. I’m childfree, but my best friend is next to me and has three kids. I showed her this question and she said, and I quote.

   “Don’t do it.” Lol. She’s a great mom btw. Been friends 11 years and she’s one of the best people I know and one of the best mom I’ve seen.

5. They are awesome – they are like a gang of aunties and uncles that make my kids laugh, give them gifts, teach them stuff, and help keep me sane with their more relaxed outlooks when shit gets heavy.

   Anyone that wasn’t good around my kids, isn’t in my life anymore – childfree or not.

6. One of my best friends is child free by choice. She is a fabulous ‘aunt’ to my kids, treats them as mature little people, gives them lovely advice and boundaries.

   Supportive of my exhaustion while openly admitting she has no concept of parenthood tired.

   Much less judgemental than some of my parent friends.

7. Most of the childfree people in my real life are lovely to my kid and understanding about the bits that are difficult.

   Occasionally they are easily overwhelmed when there are a lot of children around but fair enough.🤣

8. I don’t have many child free people around us as almost everyone we know have children! However one of my closest friends hasn’t had a child yet and she loves hanging out with me and my babies.
   However in regards to the question I have noticed that some of my child free friends although great don’t come around as often anymore.
   Maybe it’s the emotional wreck I am. Maybe it’s the kids. Maybe it’s them 🤷🏻‍♀️ but either way I’m not overly bothered

9. Child free people in my life have been mostly awesome! A few of them stopped talking to me once I got pregnant but oh well, I learned they weren’t really my friends after all. I like (need?) childfree time myself for my own sanity so I really love when I can get together with my friends for some adult time. My very best friend is childfree and she is the godmother of my youngest and we call her “aunt.”

   The only thing that bothers me is when I see childfree people online calling moms “breeders.” It’s a dehumanizing and disgusting term. Nobody should ever be reduced to their biological function.

10. See I’m the first of my friends to have a kid considering I’m 21, my bestie has been so awesome; but when I lost a friend when I found out I was pregnant

    We’ll call them (21NB) Jack for now, but Jack, me and my other friend (29 at the time M) rented a place together, it was near the end of our lease I found out I was pregnant and Jack had a history of saying how much they hated kids, how they never wanted kids and even sometimes talked about wanting to hurt kids and their parents because “sensory overload” when customers brought their kids 😱grocery shopping! which is BS. I have ADHD I know a thing or two about sensory overload and Jack is neurotypical, among a million other problems I had with them over the year of living together they told me a plethora of things about how “we can’t take care of a baby” like I’m not raising it with you? When I told them they slammed their door in my face.

    Overall I could go for hours on how shitty Jack was and IMO a lot of child free by choice people are like this, look no further that r/childfree

11. My husband and I are literally the only people in our friend group with children, and it will likely stay that way. Even though they’re all in their 20s and living “young, wild, and free” they’re really good around our son. My husband has 1 friend who is…not so great around our son because he has literally 0 experience with children and is an awkward person to be around anyway, but he only comes over after bedtime now.

12. I mean, CF people aren’t some monolith. Some are more comfortable around my son than others. I’m not a social person so I don’t really have anything to do with people in general, but of my husband’s friends some want nothing to do with our son and others are fine interacting with him. I think they’re a good place for my husband to go to to get a break from being a SAHD.

13. My best friend is firmly in the childfree camp. She likes my kid, invites him to hang out with us sometimes, asks about him, worries about him when he’s going through a hard time…but I know better than to try to convince her to have kids. “I don’t want kids” is a conversation ender, not a conversation starter.

14. I am childfree and greatly enjoy spending time with my friends’ children. I’m always down to babysit, too

    Just cause I don’t want kids doesn’t mean I don’t like them, or look down on others who do.