I (20F) am constantly worrying that my boyfriend (19M) is going to leave me or cheat on me, and it’s driving me insane.

My boyfriend is the most loving, passionate, and thoughtful person I know. He puts so much energy into everything he does in life, and he takes such good care of me. We spend a lot of time together, and I stay over at his house a lot (both of us still live with out parents). He makes me happier than anyone else in the world, and whenever I think about the rest of my life he is always in the picture.

But I feel like something is wrong with me. Like all relationships where you live in different houses, there are some days where you just don’t end up seeing each other. And on those days, I feel like I’m going crazy, because I start becoming increasingly paranoid that he’s going to leave me or cheat on me. It makes me feel sick in the stomach and incredibly guilty, because a logical part of myself KNOWS that there’s no way he ever would. But I can’t stop myself from thinking about it, coming up with different terrible scenarios, etc.

We have been together for 8 months now, but we were honestly dating and acting like a couple several months beforehand. We went to high school together and are very good friends. He works extra shifts on top of uni to save up so we can move in together (I’m doing the same of course). He drives 30-40 minutes to my house and back to his, because public transport in our area isn’t very safe and I don’t have a car yet, even when I INSIST that I can take the train, he will drive through peak rush hour and back to come see me. Sometimes he’ll ask if I can stay the night just so he can drive me to work (I’m a barista) early in the mornings, and he’ll even pack a lunch for me. He says his main goal in life is to get his dream job, a house with me, and come back from work every day to cook dinner for us (he loves cooking and is an amazing chef). We even just got back from a weekend surfing trip with friends that he invited me on, even though I SUCK at surfing, because he just wanted to be there with me. He says he wants to marry me one day and he would even like to take MY last name.

So something must be incredibly wrong with me, because I still worry about him leaving me or cheating on me. Do I have a psychological condition maybe? Anxiety runs in the family but I’ve never gone to get a diagnosis. Maybe it’s an anxious attachment style, abandonment issues, I have no idea, but these constant intrusive thoughts are driving me insane. I can’t get them out of my head. They melt away the second I see him, but then creep back into my mind just hours after he drops me off back at my house.

If anyone has any advice or knowledge on the matter, I would deeply appreciate hearing it. I want more than anything to get these thoughts out of my head.