I’ve been seeing someone for almost 2 months. He’s a lot older than I am so I never really planned/plan on taking it very seriously but I do enjoy our time together. I’ve never been with someone that enjoys taking care of me/buying me really nice things just because. The only problem is and it’s a potentially big one is that he told me he was separated from his wife but all the signs say that he is lying. I.e. never been invited over, comes over after work, has given me money to buy things but only in cash, leaves fairly early, never spends the night. Selfishly I haven’t dug deep into this because the relationship has been very relaxed and somewhat beneficial but I go back and fourth on how to handle this because if he is married it’s 100 percent not right for me to be a participant in this relationship. The nature of our relationship almost feels like i’m his sugar baby except that was not spoken about and he has me under the impression he’s not married.

TL;DR Guy I’m seeing is showing red flags of being married but I’m scared to find out the truth because it’s not serious and I enjoy the relationship we currently have but I know it could be very wrong.

22 comments

  1. Personally? Cheaters are gonna cheat. If you’re benefitting and enjoying it i don’t fault you for continuing.

  2. >almost feels like i’m his sugar baby

    Because that’s what this is. You don’t have to have a signed contract, but he’s giving you “stuff” in exchange for your time.

    Does dating someone who isn’t transparent with their relationship status align with your values? Is accepting “stuff” in exchange for your time and company ok with you? If so, carry on. If not, then you stop.

  6. Fuck I hate the world we live in now. Everyone is so selfish and never considers other people and their emotions. Seek the truth girl and be above it. That poor wife.

  8. What does his social media say? Should be pretty easy to find out. As someone older 33 with 4 kids id hope someone would let me know. Id hate to have my physical health put in jeapordy and have my whole relationship be a lie. Im home struggling so hard with the kids. Trying to fit in working out between dr apts and cooking and cleaning and paperwork and phone calls. Making time for botox and special education meetings. While hes taking our money and hours away to sleep with a 20yr old sugar baby. I feel like id deserve to know. Sometimes its hard to do the right thing though. Nobody is perfect. In the end hes the one discarding his whole family for some younger pssy.

  9. You are a sugar baby. If you find it necessary to mention that he buys you things, that’s important to you. And he gives you money and buys stuff, but he’s still married. This is why dating someone who’s still legally married is a bad idea. You’re his new toy until his wife finds out.

  10. Get the divorce papers in hand or leave. I had a friend who dated a married man for years unaware….it’s not right.

  11. You said he’s separated. That means he’s still married. Couples get separated prior to getting divorced. If he’s separated than he is married.

  12. He is counting on you to not dig deeper. You’re probably a sugar baby and he’s likely to be cheating on his wife.

    If you don’t want to be the other woman, maybe it’s time to be above it and make sure you’re not. At least, this will ease your conscience.

  22. You are a sugar baby, that’s it. And it IS wrong for you to continue if you suspect he’s married. Think of it this way: You are allowing a man who likely has a wife and family to use his FAMILY’s money to buy you gifts in exchange for sex. Cut him off unless he can prove he isn’t sneaking around on anyone.

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