We are not officially dating but we have hung out several times and have messaged each other for weeks on and off for hours. She said she was interested in me but I told her at that point I wouldn’t be talking to her if I wasn’t interested in some form or fashion but I didn’t know if that meant as friends or something more yet.
Recently she hasn’t been messaging as often, which she apologized for because she said she was busy with work, which is understandable after I sent her a random message about a situation I was in. But that was her last message to me a week ago almost— after she sent me that message I sent her one immediately back saying that I get busy too and it’s no big deal and said something about the Super Bowl and then she left me on read.
We are supposed to hang out again this week because she is coming into town but I have not reached out yet to her again because I’m waiting to see if she contacts me first. I’ll probably text her the day before the meet up if she hasn’t contacted me at that point.
She is 43– I’m a 33 year old male.
3 comments
After weeks of messaging and meet ups, you told her you weren’t sure if you were interested in her romantically. She’s looking for a relationship, not a friend. When you told her that you still didn’t know if you wanted to be more than friends after all this time, I think she decided to stop investing so much of her own time in you. Honestly after hours of messaging and several meet ups with someone over the course of weeks, I’d be pretty hurt if I expressed romantic interest in them and they didn’t reciprocate. She probably feels like *she* is the one who was getting strung along.
Wouldn’t say strung along, this is all about direct communication and being on the same page. She may like you, you may like her…but “like” comes in numerous forms and so does dating. Maybe she sees this as a “whenever’s whenever” thing, I don’t know. It appears not much has happened and it’s all pretty vague, if you want clarity then go right to the source. If you don’t even know if you like each other as friends then this is all very passive & non direct because I’ve never hung out with someone several times with romantic intent & not known how they feel.
You’re a penpal and maybe an occasional travel bang. That’s all she seems to want from this ‘relationship’. You have to decide if that’s enough for you.