basically we got really heated in the moment and he just pushed it inside me. he usually wear condoms so i didn’t think anything of it. after he came he look at me in shock saying he’s sorry. i got kinda upset, because someone in the past did it regardless i said no. and multiple exs i had could control their orgasms a bit. He tells me that it was really a accident and he couldn’t pull out bc he was too caught in how it feels. i’m not sure if that’s true. can men really come inside by accident?
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He knew what he was doing. It wasn’t an “accident”. He knows you have boundaries and ignored them. I would be really cautious of ever having sex with him again
Yes, sometimes it comes on unexpectedly…this is how you make babies with the pull-out method.
I say no. In the heat of the moment I have put it in my wife but always pulled out. We don’t want a third child!
Pull out method isn’t safe regardless. Pre-cum can’t even be felt, always have a main form of birth control your in control of.
I’m really conflicted on this. I’ve been in a position similar, but it was my own fault as he asked where I wanted him to finish and in the heat of the moment I stupidly shrugged and said I didn’t care. We both absolutely knew better. Young people aren’t known for always making the best decisions.
If you’re not in BC, I’d recommend getting plan B.
But you need to set firm boundaries and hold them from here on out.
If he’s no used to having sex with you without a condom it’s bound to happen. My girlfriend and me don’t use them but when we first started I would pull out most of the time and there were a handful of times I was just to caught up in the moment and couldn’t pull out in time and we had to run to get a plan b.
It happens which is why IMO condoms should never be the only source of BC as stuff like this can happen when you forget to use one. Hopefully you go to your doctor to talk to them about getting some form of BC.
“can men really come inside by accident?” NO
It is difficult to stop which is why the pull out method is the worst method of BC.
Bottom line is he did not respect your boundaries and is making excuses for his behavior.
If you agree to sex with the pull out method you have to be willing to get pregnant! Don’t be so naive about the chances!
It’s as much your responsibility to make sure there is protection as his.
Personally me and the wife take the “risk” but we already have 2 kids and if a “mistake” happens it’s not a massive deal for us but you being so young probably alot more so.
It wasn’t an accident. I wouldn’t jump to the conclusion that it was deliberate or intentional, either. Stupid & reckless, is what it seems like to me. If you don’t want to be pregnant you don’t have PiV sex without anticonception, period. There are plenty of other ways to have sexual fun. You two need to have a serious conversation about this. No “heat of the moment” mistakes from now on.
it takes some self control to stop yourself from cumming, but not very much. your partner knows that you are the one who has to deal with any negative consequences of this, and with the burden of there even being potential consequences. he did not get your consent to fuck you without a condom and he definitely didn’t get your consent to cum inside you. if he didn’t intend to penetrate you he would have immediately pulled out and apologized.
Go to the doctor asap, they know safe ways for you
You know what they call couples who rely on pulling out? Parents.
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I did it before, too excited, miss timing. But it was still only partial not full amount.
You bet they can.
Not an accident, men who say they can’t control themselves because “they were in the moment” allow themselves to be in the moment.
I’ve had pullout sex multiple times with my husband. There have been some instances where I’d say something to him so sexy that he gets a rush and cums. Sometimes he just doesn’t realize until it’s too late. I personally don’t care because it is what it is and I can always get plan b if needed. Although recently I just stopped caring in general and that’s how baby number 3 was made lol. If it’s only happened once and he seemed genuinely upset about it, I’d take his word for it, but if it becomes a pattern, I’d really start questioning whether or not he’s being a dick and doing it on purpose.
You should it happens. Go easy on it it’s really hard to control perfectly and if was really enjoying you and the moment it could totally happen. Don’t scold him for it.
I have never had an accident like you’re describing. Keep in mind this is my experience only. Unless you wrapped your legs around him, then he is entirely to blame.
Throw the whole man away
Reading your comments, you’ve explicitly told him you don’t want sex without a condom. So he should have respected that no matter what. You can give him the benefit of the doubt because “young and reckless” once. But if I were you it would be just ONCE. If he does it again, he should’ve known better.
As for your question, they can, but I think it’s usually bc they overestimate how much they can last between the “oh this will happen” and the actual moment when they cum. In any case, the pull out method is bullshit in practice, and depends on the man not having accidents. So better get a real BC method.
The plan b pill is not something you can take like caramels. I think it’s one or two per year or so. It can be harmful if abused. For the regular pill, if you want to be sure, use protection the first month anyway. It doesn’t protect you immediately.
If the guy does it again after you explicitly told him no, dump his ass. Also, what was that comment about him taking out the condom?
Yup. Totally reasonable once You understand that kind of accident is code for outrageous selfishness.
He risks Your life when he risks getting You pregnant.
The pullout method doesn’t work. Anything that may come of this is your fault as much as his.
It’s easy to say but we have all been there . Use protection always. Pre cum can get you pregnant just the same. My dad told me that three things can happen 1. Nothing. 2 STD or 3 pregnancy. Those are the outcomes
Sometimes our ‘animal brain’ is stronger than our ‘civilized brain’ and it happens to men or women and not only in bed, so yes it can. Even more if he apologized and looked in shock
Yes, it happens. That’s how we got our second child.
Sorry, but no. “Caught up in feels” isn’t a valid excuse for nutting in someone without their consent.
Hmmm.
My question is: why wasn’t he wearing a condom this time? Was it something you both decided this time to try without? I’m just wondering because it sounds like you both maybe had a prior agreement to have him wear a condom during sex?
*I am certainly not blaming you, or meaning disrespect, OP!* I would say maybe the answer to your question depends on the answer as to why he wasn’t wearing one this time. If you agreed for him to not wear one this time, then *maybe* he got caught up in the moment. If he was supposed to wear one and didn’t, then that’s highly suspect IMO.
Me and my wife have been together 18 years, and at least 3 and a half of those years have relied on pull-out. Not once have I failed. It’s extremely intense, but he definitely knew it was coming (pun intended).
yes men can do it on accident
Yeah, that’s something to be concerned about. As a guy, yes it can be hard to control (especially when you’re young) but that’s why protection is very important. It took being with my s/o for years before we were comfortable with that. And it’s not just pregnancy, but STD’s. You really need to know you’re partner, and trust them immensely before you have unprotected sex.
Depending on the body, when you are a shooter, sometimes you snipe the wrong target…I have had twice in my life when it just came out, both times the girl was on top.
Do you want your own body autonomy? Don’t let guys into you without wearing a condom! You’re both responsible…
To answer your question… yes… men really can cum inside by accident. Am I saying he did or did not? No, because there is no way for me to do know that, but it is absolutely possible.
That’s how babies are made it feels best when he comes inside rather than pulling out.
It was not an accident
it is very possible that it was an accident. it could have been sudden to him as well. if you trust him otherwise, do you have reason not to trust him on this?
As a guy, that excuse is BS. Of course we get caught up in how it feels but pulling out is always an option and possible, but most likely he just didn’t want to. However I wouldn’t crucify him on this one time. If it happens again it would be something to talk seriously about.
1. It is not an accident once the penis is inside the vagina – once he Knowingly puts an unwrapped penis somewhere = not an accident
doesn’t matter if it was *heat of the moment* – because claiming it’s an accident removes the reality of accountability.
not to op but to the dudes who think their nut is more important than not having “accidents”: If you can’t successfully pull out every time: wear a fucking condom/get a vasectomy; or both.
So bc of his “accident” you now have to take chemicals and have an extra period. And have to hope that it actually works, otherwise you have to go through a pregnancy and giving birth or abortion. And all he had to deal with is a “I’ll leave you if you do it again.”. Tell me if I’m wrong, but it sounds extremely unfair. He f’d up and you have to deal with the consequences. I don’t say dump him, but I wouldn’t let him get away with it so easily. Maybe have a talk with him about the exact consequences. From what Plan B does to your body and what happens when you take them, a very detailed list of things you definitely go through in a pregnancy, then a list with things that could go wrong and the same with giving birth and a list with costs and emotional needs the children have and what you two would have to give up. And then ask him if he really wants to risk you like that bc he gets “caught in the moment” and “couldn’t think straight”. And for the case he comes around with you going on birth control, make an extra list with the side effects of each method and how it affects your body. If you have a friend who takes the pill, ask her if she’d lend you the leaflet to show him an example/evidence.
Make sure he really understands what he did.
I mean, he’s 20. He could cum from someone walking past him too fast.
Bullshit! You have a second or two when the buildup starts to happen.
Other than pre-c*um, you don’t accidentally do this. Guys can feel it building up. Sure, it can happen quickly but he should have time to pull out.