Hear me out.
My ex and I met on tinder and after a week of chatting we agreed to meet. After we’ve gone to the bar for drinks, we checked in a hotel and had sex.
The next day we were chatting and then suddenly she asked me if I’ve ever had a mindblowing sex. I told her no then asked her the same question and she said yes, with her ex fwb. I just acknowledged it and ignored it after.
After a month of going out and having sex i fell for her and she said she felt the same way. The thing is one day she told me that her ex fwb was chatting her and told me she just ignored him. I asked her one thing. Are you cheating on me? She told me no and why would i think that way? After an arguement she told me that she had to come clean. She spoke to him but it was work related because they are in the same field. I said okay then I asked her about that guy and found out that everytime she ends a relationship she always hooks up with that guy. Well at least for her past 3 relationships.
After that I somehow lost trust on her. Became a bit paranoid and asked her questions. The thing is that her answers were not consistent and she knows it because i checked her all the time telling her that that’s not what she formerly said.
I got fed up with the lies and broke up with her. She begged and cried for me to stay telling me that what she felt for me was real and she spent so many years looking for that feeling again.
I got insecure and had the worst feeling.
The feeling of not being enough. TL;DR
1 comment
Women have to test you my friend. It is part of being a good partner or not being one. She has reactions she must gauge in order to find out if you’re the type to be able to control those emotions or if you lash out. Unfortunately, you let your emotions cloud your judgement here, and even went as far as accusing her of cheating.
Real talk, if a girl wants to cheat on you, she won’t mention tell you anything about the nature of the person. She would just tell you that this is a friend or that he is a coworker, and the details will be nothing more than “he’s nice.”
And make no mistake, good men will offer the same kinds of tests to women. You want to be nice, and it should be clear that you interact nicely with her as a default, but you can’t just “be nice” all the time if you want to have any idea about the person you’re getting to know. Pressing buttons is absolutely necessary once you recognize both parties have some experience in relationships. It can’t be any other way, because naivete and blind faith only work if both parties are without scars. If you were both 15 walking into a relationship then you could both genuinely be good for goodness sake. For those who have seen things, it’s just not possible to give fully without some hurdles to see that you are capable of defending the boundary without jumping to an extreme.