I’m going to pull my hair out and so are my neighbors. I’m not sure if this is a good place for this post but here we go. Maybe 4-5 months ago a group of like 15-20 christians with religious flyers have decided to walk around our entire apartment complex with like 800 units every freaking Sunday morning starting at 7 am and ending around 9. They walk to every damn door, loudly knock for several minutes if you don’t answer, and go to the next house. My only day to sleep in is Sunday and for the past few months that’s been gone. Once I’m up, I’m up and can’t go back to sleep and these damn nutty religious people knocking to preach never fail to wake me up. Things I’ve tried by my door: no soliciting sign, no religious soliciting sign, do not disturb handle hanger, sleeping baby sign, a hand written sign saying please do not knock to tell me about your religion, i only get today to sleep in, please move on have a nice day. Guess what I think they are messing with me at this point now that I’m typing this out it feels ridiculous that me and all my neighbors are still having this issue. I did ask the police line if they could do anything and they said no, unless they are loitering after we ask them to leave our door. Please give me some creative ideas reddit so i can be the hero my apartment complex needs next sunday.
33 comments
“Well, this is an extremely effective way to get people to hate church. Our master below thanks you for your service.”
Sounds like they are disturbing the peace to me. Have you contacted the apartment manager? I’m surprised the police told you that. I would call again and say you are being “harassed” by religious fanatics on a regular basis. Perhaps if you phrase it in a different way it will communicate to them that they need to step in
Do your apartment hire security? That’s totally trespassing and eligible for a police call if you know the approximate time.
Put up a sign that says “If you knock on this door to solicit or push your agenda, you are giving consent to enter into a contract with the occupant. As such, this contractual agreement allows occupant to charge $150 per minute to listen to you. Payment is due upfront at a rate of 5 minutes maximum. Therefore knocking on this door will cost you $750 and you only have 5 minutes to speak. If you go over your 5 minutes, payment will double.”
Bet they won’t knock. If all the neighbors did this, they may likely go elsewhere
If they woke me up on Sunday, I’d open the door and throw a bucket of cold water at them.
I already suggested that to a person with religious guests. It’s time for some decoration.
https://www.etsy.com/de/market/satanic_stickers?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Search_DE_DSA_GGL_GER_General-Nonbrand_Catch-All_New&utm_ag=DE-DE_DSA-General&utm_custom1=_k_CjwKCAiAuaKfBhBtEiwAht6H76a-39NXhX1hQF_WpKdrqGX7j83OCG05oskCeMgRY38MmlPqMYl0xxoC308QAvD_BwE_k_&utm_content=go_201110928_14054675328_647044847434_dsa-19959388920_m_&utm_custom2=201110928&gclid=CjwKCAiAuaKfBhBtEiwAht6H76a-39NXhX1hQF_WpKdrqGX7j83OCG05oskCeMgRY38MmlPqMYl0xxoC308QAvD_BwE
Sounds like your whole complex should convert to Satanism instead 🤔
Make a bunch of hail Satan flyers or something like that for all apartments and make them feel completely unwelcome.
Does your complex have designated quiet hours? Could you get together and vote on them? Like, no noise before 10am on Sundays?
Open the door with your phone on record, hold it up, and start narrating ridiculous accusations as you film them.
“This is him. This is the man who has been harassing me for the last three years, who sexually assaulted my golden retriever, and who sold meth at the junior high down the street. I’m posting this video so that anyone who comes in contact with this man knows he’s a predator and a criminal.”
“This is her. Faithfull followers this is the woman who has been smearing human feces all over the water fountains at the park. I have blurry videos of the act itself, but here’s a full video of her face, so that we can track her down and make sure the world knows what she does.”
Obviously, don’t post the videos, but if they think they’re going to get accused of crimes for knocking on your door they may think twice.
Follow the guy who knocks on your door home and show up to convert them to your ethos of choice (Islam, veganism, Roblox) at 5 AM on Monday. He’ll get the point.
I used to works Night Shift and they’d come knocking as soon as I fell asleep in the morning. So I decided to answer the door half dressed and intentionally disheveled. They asked if I was still sleeping and I said “yeah I dance.” I think it helped that I don’t look like a person show could be a stripper…? Anywhoozlebee they didn’t come back.
Call the cops. If they don’t live in the complex they are loitering, disturbing the peace, and harassing tenants.
Get an airhorn and follow them and blast it every time they try to speak.
I had an old teacher who put a Star of David on her front door, and that stopped them.
I also had a friend who got warned from a neighbor that they were on their way, and he answered the door with smeared make up, wearing his gfs heels and holding a beer and just before they knocked he swung the door open and ‘stumbled out’ crying “AM I PRETTY NOW DADDY?!”
Apparently they full on sprinted for the elevator. I wish I could have witnessed that.
Outside of putting up the standard “No Religious Solicitators” sign, you might need to get extreme.
Have everyone in the complex open the door and spray them with glitter.
Hang a pentagram on your door. Or, maybe a sign that says “locked and loaded?”
Something similar happened to me. A building on my street turned into a mosque. Suddenly christians of a specific kind ( maybe evangelical) were parading up and down the street. knocking doors and flinging flyers.
But their church must have only had older congregation, because each solicitor group of 2-3 were so old. weathered withered old. in large number, but to old to be nutty.
they eventually tapered off when i’m guessing the neighbors didn’t care.
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Have you thought about getting an ‘offensive’ doormat? Like ” Gayest Place in Town”. that worked for some people
Get hazmat casing for the outside all the doors. Have someone stop them on the way in wearing full hazmat gear. Tell them the apartment complex got plagued by locusts. Tell them that some time last Sunday between 7am and 9am, some jerk brought in one on their shoe or something, and spread it to the whole complex. Management is going to review security footage to see if they can figure it out so they can sue for damages.
Or open your door and scream. Just scream every time they try to speak.
Rack a shotgun very close to your closed apartment door??
You need about 800 “Only Satan knocks on Sunday” signs. Be sure you get the red and black version.
Perhaps hire some theater group to run naked through the crowd taking selfies with the evangelicals?
Trespassing and disturbing the peace. Sounds like targeted, unwanted harassment. Video them and file police reports until they stop.
Does your complex allow solicitation? Talk with the management office and let them know what is going on. Since it happens on Sundays the office may not be open and they are not aware.
Let them know exactly who the group is and the office can contact them to cease and desist solicitation on the property. We had this happen in our complex and it worked.
Contact the apartment manager and then police (again) and inform them you have repeatedly asked these same people to NEVER return to your door. Also consider making a tack mat (only hang it on Saturday nights) so they literally cannot knock on your door without injuring their own hands.
You might actually need to get nasty and scream at them: “Quit fucking knocking on my door. I am NEVER going to be interested in the bullshit church you solicit for. Quit interrupting our sleep! Some of us WORK. If we were interested in your cult we would already be there. Go the fuck away, never knock on MY door again!”
What church are they from? I’d go and be incredibly disruptive. Go over and over. If they somehow kick you out, sit in the parking lot blaring your car horn. Bonus points if you buy an air compressor for the car and get a train horn
Answer the door naked with a water pistol- preferably a super soaker type and spray them and say “hoorah, you’ve now been welcomed into Satans arm”
Answer the door naked. My BIL did that once. They never stopped by again
Have you contacted a local news crew to report on the harassment?
Do you know which church sent them? Can you return the favor and play loud music outside their services? Can you hand out flyers/coupons to sex toy shops? Flyers on polyamory? Business cards for thr local bondage bar?
I had someone leaving door hangers in my neighborhood for a local church and I called the church and I told them to take me off their list and to not leave litter on my door step again. The guy who answered the phone was kind of taken aback and tbh I kind of went off on him (I was having a bad day) but the next time they sent people around in the neighborhood, they skipped my house, so it worked. I would honestly recommend either calling the church up directly or answering the door next time they knock and getting *really* pissy with them. You might have to do it a couple weeks in a row. Make them not want to knock on your door.
Ignore the religious element. This is harassment pure and simple.
– You and all your neighbors should tell whoever manages the apartment complex to trespass them from the building ASAP.
– Install a camera if possible.
– I would also get up early, go out there and video whoever is at your door. Ask their name. Hand them a formal letter that tells them to cease and desist.
– Complain to the police about personal harassment/stalking behaviour by Their Name if it happens again.
– Take photos of as many of them in action as you can.
– Formally complain to your local council/local government about them in case it beaks an Ordinance, which it probably does.Have your neighbours co sign.
– Write formal letters of complaint to their church’s central authorities about the malicious harassment. Have your neighbours co sign.
– if that doesn’t work, alert your local media to what’s going on. Send videos.
Grab some twigs and flowers and a couple chicken bones, wrap it in twine, hang it on your door with a pentagram and a note saying
“Those who disturb this place will be cursed. My soul cannot be saved, I sold it long ago. This is my curse unto you:
Nec plumibis nec auro nec argento redimere a numine tuo nisi ut illas uorent canes uermes adque alia portenta exitum quarum populus spectet”
It translates to “Neither through lead nor through gold nor through silver can they redeem themselves from your divine power, unless dogs, worms and other monsters devour them. May the people watch their death.”
Then if they dare to knock, answer naked, hair wild, use eye liner to paint an upside down cross on your forehead and pentagram on your chest, and start cursing them in Latin. Google curses in Latin, there are some good ones like “fututus et mori in igni” which is fuck off and die in a fire.
They’ll leave you alone.
Edit to say there’s no selling of your soul required lmao. That’s just for dramatic effect.
Whatever you do, involve as many neighbors as you can. They need to know that the whole building is not interested.
Post a sign saying that for every time you get woken up you will make a donation to an abortion service/satanic cult.