My boyfriend (29M) and I (20F) have been dating a little over a year now and he seems to really enjoy having sex with me but less frequently then when we first met. He’s basically my first boyfriend/sexual partner outside of initially losing my virginity in a car when I turned 19 which was awful so I kept to myself before meeting my bf.
He’s recently expressed to me that I need more practice with handjobs/blow jobs (4/10) but as I mentioned he doesn’t like openly having sex so it’s kind of hard to get in practice outside of when he wants to actually have sex. I love pleasing my partner, I’m a little more shy when it comes to myself but I’ve gotten him to cum consistently. I’m worried that he’s just bored with me and since he’s older – doesn’t really know how/wants to teach me so he just watches porn.
If anyone has any tips on how to give better hand/blow jobs or just overall seducing a guy in this situation I’m willing and interested to learn how to be a better partner in bed. As mentioned before I really enjoy bjobs so techniques on deep throating/positioning/dirty talk would be perfect!
-check comments for more explanation as I didn’t want to make my post too long.
6 comments
There have been periods (2 weeks tops) where my bf just doesn’t want to have sex or would prefer to masturbate alone while I’m sleeping. I don’t mind him watching porn but I have expressed my slight insecurity or worry that he likes to watch porn more then actually having sex with me. He explained that he has self-esteem/energy issues and he would prefer me to come into him. I don’t mind coming onto him, but my issue lies with my inexperience. Despite my attempts to learn via porn/websites/books I still have no idea what I’m doing.
I’m not sure what this would be labeled as, but he seems to be into nonchalant sex? Like when we’re laying in bed I just casually start giving him a handjob or like having sex under a blanket/kind of not paying attention to it? He really likes when I just randomly decide to give him a bj, but not when I try to openly flirt with him/tease him. When I’m “not interested” but clearly interested. I’m open and curious to try pretty much anything, I just never got to “experiment” in Highschool and I wasn’t allowed to masturbate until I started college so I’m not necessarily the smoothest or most confident. I’m apparently really physically sensitive so I’ve been trying to be less responsive to his advances as he expressed that sometimes he wants to be challenged or like made to work harder to turn me on.
Obviously I try to keep his feelings and insecurities in mind and he has reassured me that he is still very attracted to me, that I’m actually his ultimate fantasy or what he looks up most when he watches porn. I just feel that I don’t live up to his expectations whether that be through inexperience or size (5’3/petite/96lbs) as most ebony porn stars have decent tits/ass while I only have a handful’s worth.
Ask him what he likes. If he’s unwilling to tell/teach, that’s kind of on him. He can’t just tell you you’re a 4/10 without giving feedback as to why.
Like any other skill it takes practice to get good at. I would be lying if I said i didn’t watch videos in my younger days to try and see what I was supposed to be doing. You also have to be able to measure his feedback to see what feels good to him
This helped me.
https://www.vice.com/en/article/bn7nz5/guide-giving-head-101-guides
Lube is key when jerking him off. Lube is your friend.
I’d say it might be less of an issue of what you’re doing physically and more of getting your bf to communicate what he wants. If he expects you to read his mind to get it up to 5/10 then let him receive his 4/10.
Unless you think you have a pattern? Did you ask your last partner for a grade? It sounds like that would’ve been your first time anyways so you wouldn’t have expected it to be a high score.