Women who are 20+ and never had a relationship before, why?

28 comments

1. It just doesn’t happen. There‘s no one (yet) who I really match with and being single is quite peaceful as well.

2. I’m 34. Simply was never approached when I was younger, and I have no interest in men, dating or sex now.

3. I’m straight and men are exhausting.

4. Because men kept saying I was too « intimidating » for having a job, living my best life, and lifting weights.

5. I’m shy 🤓

6. I’ve had crushes but those amounted to nothing. Those who approached me I had no interest in. And I’ve just never looked for someone.

   (I did have a SA by my uncle when I was younger. And my father cheated on my mother. I did the therapy on myself. Worked on self pleasure which i didn’t know how to do before. And rn the dating scene sucks and is on apps and ghosting. Soo it’s discouraging to say the least)

7. I had 2 brief (2 month) relationships within the same year. 5 years later and I’m still single.

   Being completely honest – If the opportunities didn’t present themselves to me, I probably wouldn’t have ever been in a relationship. I’m not a “go-getter” and I’m pretty introverted.
   I’d *love* to be in a relationship, but it’s not going to happen to someone who sits at home and spends her time bing-watching TV.

8. There is nothing a relationship can offer me that is better than what I already have.

   I have no interest in losing half my decision making power to someone whose piss I have to wipe off the toilet seat at 7am, then miraculously find them attractive enough to fuck at 9pm.

9. I’ve been told I’m “too intimidating”…”too independent”….”too intelligent”….

   So basically, a lot of cowardice on their part…

10. I’ve went on a few dates in uni (one of which I didn’t even know was a date until after it was over), but decided to focus on myself in 4th year. I was applying to jobs all over the place and didn’t want a relationship to make me feel like I couldn’t take a job because it wasn’t where he was going to be. Then during Covid there was a bunch of family emergencies which required my attention. I chose to be there for my family instead of date. Now is the first time in my life that I’m actually putting myself out there and being open to a relationship. The main reason is that I feel like I finally have my shit together.

    Even though I’m actively looking/ready for a relationship doesn’t mean I’m going to rush into anything. I would rather be single than be wasting my time and energy on the wrong person.

    It’s probably an unpopular opinion but I wouldn’t want change my uni experience. Being single and not online dating made those 4 years so much easier and drama free.

11. I’m ugly.

12. A combination of liking to do things alone, wrong timing, and getting attracted to taken/unavailable friends.

13. I’m extremely picky.

14. I wish I knew, because it isn’t by choice. It just never seemed to happen for me and I could never figure out why because I could never figure out how people got into relationships.

    I’ve struggled with my mental health all my life which I suppose might be a big factor because it’s held me back a lot but I can’t help feeling like there’s something wrong with me.

15. Childhood trauma/C-PTSD and a dismissive avoidant attachment style. I don’t blame people for not wanting to put up with that. Sort of resigned myself to being on my own at this point.

16. Because I’m shy.

17. My first relationship was at 23. I was not interested in a long term romantic relationship before then and I was only interested in dating with the intention of pursing a long term relationship. So until I was out of college and got started on my career, I wasn’t interested in dating. Now I’m 29 and marrying my best friend in 2 weeks!

18. Zero interest and I much prefer to be alone.

19. I’ve just never met anyone who I’ve liked who has also liked me and vice versa. I’m sure I’ll meet someone someday and the two will align but until then I’m not really interested in pursuing a relationship with someone I’m not that keen on just for the sake of being in a relationship, and it hurts like hell to date someone who you like but who doesn’t like you back.

    I guess I just assume the old adage of “when you know you know is true” and not being sure is also “knowing” in another way too.

20. Late bloomer, no interest in relationships/sex for a very long time. Only times I’ve been asked out have been by strangers or creeps. And I’m demisexual, don’t want kids and I’m happy enough on my own, so there’s no rush.

21. Because men.

22. I was a victim of severe child abuse (physical, psychological and sexual) and I have PTSD from it that makes it extremely difficult to trust or bond with other people, even though I want to. It’s very hard for me to make friends too, and I have no family because they were the ones wbo abused me. I’m extremely lonely tbh, but I try not to think about it too much. I just try to get through each day

23. If I get the ick from a guy even once I cannot continue seeing them as a potential partner

24. I feel as though it may be a you problem, having said this there are many others going through the same sticks. Be kind rather than aggressive, conduct love when people are kind and lesson hate when others wish to bring you down.

    You are loved.

25. shyness, insecurity, school focused, also didn’t really find myself thinking about guys as much (bc school). starting to think about it a lot now because i feel weird for being a late bloomer

26. Whenever I like someone, they don’t like me back. And whenever someone likes me, I don’t like them back.

27. I blame my upbringing. I wasn’t allowed to date. Now it’s somehow ok and I have no idea what to do or flip the switch in my brain that I’m an adult and can do so

28. Honestly, I blame my terrible childhood and traumatic experiences with the opposite sex. I have some deep rooted issues with men that I need to work out before I start seriously dating. From my experience, men don’t really want relationships. Just sex. They really don’t like me, but get so salty because I refuse to have casual sex with men that don’t like me as a person.