Help me out please, I feel so conflicted! Basically, I met the guy on a dating app, he reached out first, we messaged a bit, he suggested a date so we met up. It went well, he seemed serious and we had a lot in common, and the day after our date he asked for my instagram and said he’s deleting his dating app.
We didn’t see each other for ~3 weeks afterwards because of Christmas break (we were both out of the country) and we didn’t text at all during that time. He watched my ig stories, liked some of them but that was all. After I got back from Christmas break I messaged him wishing him a happy new year, we texted for a while and he said he was looking forward to being back in town. I texted him after a few days suggesting to meet, he seemed excited, and we ended up meeting. The date went well, we talked about how we have a lot in common (personality, values, interests), talked about the future (him really wanting to have kids, him wanting to meet my family etc.).
It got a bit intimate and the date ended slightly awkwardly, and I didn’t hear from him for a week so I was super confused and since I’m impatient, I texted him. He agreed that the date ended a bit awkwardly but said he was down to meet again. I asked him when he’s free and he said he’d let me know 🙁
He said that on Wednesday and it’s Saturday now and I don’t know what to do.
Note: He is a busy guy and has a lot going on so I know he has a tight schedule. He rescheduled our 1st date (the one he initiated) as well the 2nd one (the one I initiated) and everything was fine (before the 2nd date: he apologized for rescheduling and said he really wanted to meet me). And I remember when I suggested a specific day for the 2nd date he said he’d let me know if he could make it and he did indeed let me know (though I waited nearly a week) so I feel like he keeps his promises.
Another note: He said himself that he doesn’t like texting (and doesn’t like clingy ppl who want to text all day) and has his notifications off during the day (he’s barely active on ig).
Deep down I really don’t want to give up on him bc we have so much in common and he genuinely seems like a good guy – during the 2x we met we really talked about serious stuff and he got really vulnerable with me.
He seemed to enjoy the dates but the lack of communication is killing me, especially bc I have the anxious-preoccupied attachment type so I need constant reassurance.
I hate the fact that it’s me initiating contact (he does answer enthusiastically and in a timely manner though). And I know he’s busy but I wish I was able to see him more often.
So: should I trust him 1 more time and wait for him to let me know when he’s free; should I wait a few more days and then reach out myself, or should I just give up altogether?
The anxiety of waiting for him to answer is killing me but writing this post helped a bit 🥹
3 comments
I’m sorry but he’s stringing you along. Here are a few observations from a 35m recovering fuckboy who’s been around the block.
1. You said he’s too busy. That doesn’t exist. If he’s like physically out of town for work or something sure. But a man is NEVER too busy for a woman he’s interested in. He will absolutely make time. This I promise you.
2. If a guy likes you he WILL text you. You said he took almost a week to message you after a date? Sorry, he’s not really interested.
3. “I’ll let you know” simply means he doesn’t care about you enough to commit to something right then and there. He knows you’re interested in hanging out and doesn’t reach out? He doesn’t want to see you that badly.
4. Stop being so passive. Be bold. Don’t leave everything in the hands of a guy. Don’t wait for him to text you. Ask for what you want. Make your boundaries clear. Know what you are worth and what you deserve and don’t be afraid to ask for it. Text him. If his energy doesn’t seem to match your then move on.
I hope I’m not being to blunt but you don’t deserve to be treated this way.
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This is a really odd dating style. Why would he delete his apps if he’s not going to see you for a while?
WHAT was the thing that made the end of date awkward?
Was that the end of date 1 or 2?
Was the sex bad? Or awkward?