This is a whole mess and I’m not sure what to do.
I (F19) met this guy (M19) on a game and we chatted on discord for a bit, which eventually led to calling. We’ve called every day for hours and hours for the past week. He basically said he loved me on the second day and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I dont know why but I said yes. I wasnt really wanting to say i love you back but he ended up spiraling and I said it to make him feel better. He’s extremely clingy and has a lot of issued from his childhood, which I think is manifesting in him seeking this reassurance through a relationship. I can identify these issues in him because I’ve experienced them myself. I also attach to people way fast but this is even extreme in my eyes. I dont think i love him but i feel stuck. We live in different states and we haven’t met yet but we’ve talked about meeting a lot. In a sense i guess i do love him although not romantically, more in a i care about him and dont want to hurt him kind of way. Id be willing to try and have a relationship with him but it just seems so complicated. Im LDS (Mormon) and I wanted to marry within my church (both for religious reasons and because its way easier to have a relationship with similar values) but he is not LDS or even Christian. Hes already talking about forever and wanting to get married one day. I dont know how i can bear to break his heart, i feel like ive used him even though i really was trying to give him love.
I know we are young and this shouldn’t be that big of a deal, i know this whole thing is crazy but i genuinely care about peoples emotions and feelings, I dont know how to end this and i dont want to ghost him. I need help.
I also feel guilty because i truly enjoy loving and being loved back. I just dont think this could work out in the long run and its making me go against my values
1 comment
It sounds like you guys jumped into something serious too quickly and now you’re not sure how to end it without hurting him. I think the best thing you could do for him is be honest about how you’re feeling and suggest taking a break from each other. It will more than likely end up hurting him but the worst thing to give someone that’s clingy after a breakup is the hope for things to go back to how they were and that’s why the space would probably be good for the both of you. I understand that you’re not looking to hurt this person but the more he becomes attached to you the worse it’s gonna hurt the both of you. Hope this helps. I know these situations suck but they’re a part of dating. The key is to handle them the best you can and make sure that you don’t get yourself in another situation like it again. Good luck.