Been really stressing lately about this. Me and my girlfriend have sometimes nothing to talk about and she seems like she doesn’t wanna talk with me when I ask her questions. I actually run out of things to ask her since she responds like “yes” “no” “nothing” or when I try to open a discussion she doesn’t seem to keep it going and I’m always the one to keep it going and it really stresses me out and make me nervous. I don’t show it tho, cause it makes me look like a psychopath asshole
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Watch a tv show that is either so shit you both have something to hate, or so good you have something to love.
It’s okay to acknlowedge the conversation is over and just go do your thing. I don’t know why people feel obligated to keep the discussion going forever.
Do an activity together.
Engage in intimacy, start learning massage, fuck, play wrestle, tickle fight, etc.
Uncomfortable silences are for first dates and new relationships, find yourself somebody you are comfortable with when you have nothing of interest to say.
Just sitting in the room together doing our own thing. Like watching a show or reading a book. We are still together and when I want I can look over at her and smile because she is there.
Stay married for 18 years. Silence is sometimes ok, as is separate time apart.
Send each other memes lol
Happened to me a few days ago. Sometimes you have to analyze the situation and think about why she might be silent. It could be that she is tired, not interested or sad. In my case it was that she was upset with me (which is fine). It’s at this point you should address that thing that is making her quiet.
If for whatever reason nothing is going on and she is just being quiet; generally what I will do is ask her if she has ever heard of the tragedy of Darth Plagus the Wise. If she hasn’t heard of him then I will explain that he was a powerful lord of the sith who was so powerful that he could create life and that he could keep the ones he loved from dying. I’d then go on to explain how the dark side of the force is a pathway many consider to be unnatural and I would bring up the irony in that Darth Plagus could save people from death, but not himself because his apprentice killed him. Not even joking, this works.
how long have you been dating?
Between the three of us, we will come up with something.
You could ask if she has any interests? See if you have a common one. Me and my partner share some interests but there’s a lot of stuff we don’t. Like crochet for example, I really don’t care for it but she loves it so I like listening to her explain things. Like did you know there is yarn made from old tshirts? I know more than I’d ever know if we weren’t together.
She is either nervous, or disinterested. Does she talk when not in person?
I’ve been with plenty of girls where after a bit of time, 2-6 months I just realise I’m not that interested in talking to her anymore, things she has to say are either predictable or just not what I enjoy talking about. The honeymoon phase makes you blind to that at the start. Not everything lasts forever.
It’s normal for there to be some moments of silence though, it’s just just for a minute or so here and there and then conversation continues and feels effortless then that’s normal. If the whole time you hang out it’s a chore to talk to this person, then your probably with the wrong person.
Is she an introvert? She just may enjoy quietly being in the same space with you and feel it’s enough for her sometimes. Many introverts hate small talk, and it’s not a reflection on your relationship at all.
We fuck
Lots of sex
We don’t have a problem with talking or silences, but sometimes on road trips, to keep my husband from getting drowsy, I will read AmItheasshole posts to him and then we will discuss..
Edit: Sorry, just realized that you were in Ask Men (not women), but it is still kind of fun to talk about those posts.
ha……my wife ALWAYS has something to talk about. She like that little girl at the beginning of the movie UP and I’m like the boy. I’m usually pretty quiet in person. We can drive for an hour with her talking the entire time. While that may sound annoying, it’s not. I enjoy listening to what she has to say and I enjoy her voice. But in the time where there is no talking and nothing to talk about. We just sit together. She may be watching a movie or show I care nothing about, so I’ll put my headphones on and watch something on my phone as we sit next to each other. We’re a couple. So when we’re together at home, we try to stay coupled.
A couple of things could be happening here. Could be that she just wants to sit quietly with you, which is very possible if her love language (look it up if you don’t know) is quality time. If it is, just spending the time with her is all she really needs to feel loved. Ask her about her love language if you haven’t already (also try to learn what yours are if you don’t know). If your relationship is still fresh (< 2 months) she could be developing further into the relationship. This is the part where the initial cloud 9 stuff falls away. If this is the case she probably will only be interested in deep conversations, and you might to talk about some boundaries that you both may want to have. She could be bored in with the relationship, you just aren’t doing the same stuff or you are only doing the same things. Finally, and this is the worst of all. This sub is well familiar with my stance on apathetic behavior. If this is the case, it is time to terminate the relationship. Given what you shared. I am quite doubtful that this is what’s going on here as there would be much stronger indicators of this.
You should talk to her about this and express your concerns and ask some questions about what’s going on. I’m guessing that the answer is probably simple and small adjustments is all that is required to remedy this.
Give us some examples of where you might be together, given that you don’t live together.
Do you go to a restaurant or cafe? Chill in each others bedrooms, presumably with parents nearby? Hang out on the street or in a mall?
I understood this title as, your wife and your girlfriend have nothing to talk about together 😂
I get caught up in my head to sometimes where I’m like, “we haven’t said anything to each other in an hour”. But I think that’s normal, and neither I nor my girl seem to mind.
Why do you feel there must be constant talking? Are both of you unable to entertain yourselves or each other without saying anything?
Play a game. Watch some tv or a movie. Read books. Go have sex. Go for a walk.
Sit peacefully in silence, fucking love sitting peacefully in silence.
Now, there is a difference if it’s silent, but awkward. Like there are things that need to be said, but no one wants to say it. If that’s the feeling you’re getting, then there’s probably an issue. That’s a required conversation.
My advice would be to ask her about her stuff, her day, her life. Things where she should definitely have interest in and a perspective on. Basically like you’re showing interest in her.
If she still gives you yes no answers, well I’m sorry to say, she might not like you the way you want to be liked/loved. Or… or. And again this is a conversation, maybe it’s just how she is…. which I think is rare in people.
You should probably ask what’s up next time. It might start a fight, but better now than later
Honestly, I’ve been with my wife for over 20 years, and we’ve pretty much never run out of stuff to talk about. I really don’t know what to say because in my experience when this happens it’s never a good sing and unless you both put some effort into reconnecting it might be the beginning of the end.
Enjoy silence.
Interesting. I was under the impression that most guys want their girlfriends to stay quiet and leave them alone unless it’s for sex.
It seems you’re trying to keep up the conversation for forever for no reason and she’s so tired of it she’s trying to shut you up with these short answers.
Sharing comfortable silence with someone is a wonderful feeling, you should try it.
Hold each other. Play old Mario games together. Play card and board games. Rub her feet while she plays iPad games and I put on my geeky shows. She will massage my head while I rest it on her lap while she watches reality TV.
Where you afraid of your mothers emotions?
Go to the god damn zoo.
First, she might not be the best conversationalist. Second, pauses in conversation don’t have to indicate that you’re failing to be interesting (it takes two to tango). Worst case scenario (if this behavior is a very recent development/ things aren’t going well between you) she’s not that emotionally invested anymore. Most likely it’s nothing to worry about though, sometimes people just are in a mood.
Silence in itself IS a language. You have to be comfortable with that if you are truly connected to each other. Meditation. Make time for it. IMplement it into your relationship. Listening to some soft spiritual music.
Silence speaks volumes. Can you handle it?
Don’t force a convo and enjoy the time you have with each other. Also read the situation and figure out if she’s lost interest in the relationship.
Comfortable silence
being comfortable doing nothing together is an important, and sometimes difficult, step in a relationship. particularly when you’re so used to “making it happen” as most men are.
Firstly, it’s ok to not ALWAYS have something to talk about. Think about a friend. If you haven’t caught up with a friend for 3 months, you will have tons of material to talk about. If you see that friend every single day, sometimes you’ll have something to talk about and sometimes you won’t.
However, if you need material, go do something. Even a walk through target could be a great conversation starter for me. Maybe I’ll see a Lego set, which will remind me of a Lego set I had when I was younger that I got for my bday, and then we can talk about the best and worst bday presents we’ve ever gotten. Or maybe I’ll will see the new SUPER ultra max stuffed Oreos and it will remind me of the time my friend in college walked in on his roommate eating Oreo cream while holding the cookies on the side like it was corn on the cob😂.
And if someone is too “good” to go on a target adventure with me, we aren’t a good match because we don’t share a similar outlook on life at all.
I eat her ass