As mentioned above, I’ve been chatting with a girl I met not too long ago. On the first day we met we clicked. We ended up talking on the phone for 3+ hours without tension and I felt that things were going well. She made it clear to me that she’s not interested in a romantic relationship but I felt that even though she’s not looking for anything more than that, maybe if we continued chatting her view might change. I’ve liked her since the day I met her but even though it’s been two months I still don’t know anything about her. She avoids any questions I ask about her and gets mad when I ask her something about herself. She also doesn’t answer questions directly and tends to always find loops around it. Like I could ask her a question and she’d answer with another question. Some nights we can talk for hours where our conversations are fluid and on others it’s like I’m talking with a complete stranger where it feels like I’m forcing her to talk and she gets mad at me. There have been times where I’ll call her whilst I’m at work and how she answers the phone is as if I shouldn’t be calling. I’ve made it clear that I like her and even though she claims that she’s not looking for a relationship she calls me every night. I asks her to if we can meet sometimes but she always says no. But once in a while she’ll pull up at my house and pretend nothing happened . Some time ago I called her and she told me that she gets annoyed/mad easily especially when she’s been talking to the same person constantly and I called her weird for that but she promised me that that was normal. My question is **Am I wasting my time but talking to her and hoping for a relationship or should I move on?**
TL;DR: the girl I’ve been chatting with has told me that she doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me and whenever I asks her if we could meet she says no but at the same time she stops but my place every so often to chat with me. She’s very guarded as if she’s been deceived before but she claims that she’s never been broken-hearted before. Whenever I feel like she’s finally opening up to me, things turn 360 and then I feel like I’m back to square one again. ** Am I wasting my time but talking to her and hoping for a relationship or should I move on?**
3 comments
she’s closed off because she’s not interested in you. like you said, she made it clear that she’s not interested in a romantic relationship. it’s pretty icky that you thought if you kept pushing you could change her mind — and to be clear, that’s what you’re doing, being pushy. it’s disingenuous to continue talking to her with hopes of a romantic relationship if you agreed to be friends. yes, you are wasting your time and hers.
edit: just read your post history. really strange you went from turning 24f to being 31m in like, what, 2 months?
This woman has made it clear she is not interested in a relationship with you.
She seems to enjoy conversing with you on the phone. If you are seeking more than that you are wasting your time.
I’m one of those girls who will “befriend” many people, especially guys as I find them easier to converse with. This is what she is doing to you.
She’s friend zoning you and needs/wants someone to vent and chit chat with. She’s not interested. She’s looking for someone to entertain herself with when she’s bored or has no one to talk to. You’re not special in this situation. You’re convenient. This is why she’s annoyed sometimes and other times she’s not. Because she only wants to talk to you on HER time.
How do I know this? Because I’m fully guilty of this. Even to men I know like me because they let me. She’s not into you. I’m sorry to say. And you are holding onto a glimmer of hope when she chats with, that she deep down likes you. Men are much more black and white. Guys will only give the time of day to girls they like or that one female friend that they see as a “bro”. Girls aren’t like this. Myself and MOST girls I know will give the time to day to anyone who is nice, likes to gossip and is a potential friend. We don’t just solely talk to men because of interest. This is the big difference between men and women that men STILL CAN’T seem to grasp. Women treat both genders are human. Men don’t, and that’s the final answer.
She doesn’t like you. And you need to accept that. Stop with the small spark of hope. If it will bother you that she will only chat with you as a friend, then stop conversing with her because that’s the most you’ll ever get from her, ever. You’re doing this to yourself.
Either accept her as a friend and get off the BS train that maybe one bright shining day she’ll finally come to her senses or cut the contact if you can’t accept her as just a genuine human being of a friend. She doesn’t feel that way, dude. Again, she doesn’t feel the same way. She’s never going to. Sometimes you have accept that some people don’t like you. We’ve all been there and it sucks, but that’s life.