I (15f) am together with my bf (16m) for about 8 months now. I am a virgin, but I just today found out that my bf has had sex with 4 people, all one night stands at party’s. Two girls (15 and 17) and 2 boys (idk how old, doesn’t matter). He never told me this, I don’t mind, but I find it weird that he has slept with 4 DIFFERENT people.
Not while we are together, but still. BTW he did when he was 15. I also thought you know, it doesn’t matter if I don’t know exactly how sex works cause he also doesn’t, and now all of the sudden he does.
Isn’t it very early to have one night stands, or am I that prude?
TL;DR is it weird that I haven’t had sex when i’m only 15?
6 comments
You are 15. Do not sweat this, do not think you have to have sex just because your boyfriend has, don’t think that makes you a prude. You’ll know when you are ready, and if you’re basing your readiness off of what your boyfriend has already done, you’re not thinking clearly.
People develop and become ready for sex at very different ages. It’s a huge range of possibilities. There is no right or wrong time to be ready (although people who develop a sex drive extremely young do end up more likely to be in unfortunate situations, where the best outcome tends to be spending many years frustrated and the bad outcomes can be very bad). It doesn’t sound like he was traumatized by his experiences though, so this is just a matter of development varying and that being totally okay.
Have sex when you are comfortable, not to be a notch on his belt.
1) He may be a player and he very obviously spreads the word when he has sex with someone. Are you ok with having your privacy shared?
2) He has to be checked for STDs beforehand if you do have sex with him and don’t accept his word on it. Insist on a medical report.
It’s not weird that you haven’t had sex yet. It’s not weird that he has had sex, or that the sex he’s had has been with casual partners.
You’re both totally within the realm of normal for teenage sexual experience. If you two eventually decide to have sex together, there will be plenty left to learn and explore together.
The only thing about this that really matters is whether he has safe sex and whether he’s had appropriate followup STI checks done.
I was 16 when I had my first time. I don’t think either of you are abnormal. I also don’t think the 4 one night stands he had drunk at parties taught him all that much about sex. You are still on much more even footing then you think.