Hello fellow redditors,
I am going to begin by saying that Reddit has a really close place to my heart because it has got me out of many situations and helped me decide to take the best course of action. Today, I am asking my fellow redditors advice on something that involves a lot of emotions, something that I have learned myself to be disconnected with since a very long time.
Cutting to the chase, I shall begin my story.
I recently travelled to Europe for my master’s education, and I am going to be staying here for the next one and a half years of my life. This is the first time I have been to Europe and I absolutely love it here. But, recently, maybe due to the sub zero temperature currently and a lack of adequate sunlight, I became really very depressed. I do have mental health issue which I try my best to ameliorate. This time it went to a level where I could not get out of bed. Social interactions started feeling like a burden and I could see my life slipping by in front of me, helpless and alone. This continued for a month when I took the initiative to get out of bed and made myself exercise and food and it’s been a two weeks since I have successfully started reading again and even managed to establish new friendships. Amongst this friendships is one which stands and the one which I am going to talk about here. I met a girl, let’s call her X. I talked to X when I first got initiated with my course but it was mostly “hello; how’re you?; did you do the work assigned; great; goodbye” , which I was okay with. One day, I sat next to her during the class. We were both sitting at the end of the class and to be honest we weren’t paying attention. Subsequently, I began conversation by talking about the class, made a couple of jokes towards the pointless projector and got her to laugh at one or two of my sub-par attempts at humour. The conversation gradually got to how many siblings each one of us has, what we aspire to do in our lives, what do we think about certain issue governing the planet and of the like. I had a wonderful time talking to her in class. Soon the class was over, we walked our separate ways. Another day dawns, we have the same class, I find her sitting alone, I go sit next to her. We begin talking about what Netflix shows we like, what comedians I like, what characters are my favourite, this girl had watched every single show that I love and she followed the works of many of favourite standup comedians, on a different tangent the conversation went towards her preferences and she mentioned the same comedian that I basically worship as being her favourite comedian. The astonishing part for me was that I hadn’t told her that I liked the comedian this much. After this, I knew I was in trouble.
Today, I basically went looking for her to sit next to her. I love being in her company. But, she tells me she is dating someone else.
Fuck.My.Life
The funniest thing was that the first thing that came to my mind was it was her company that I liked. Her as she is. This didn’t change anything for me.
As you can tell I have fallen for her. I do not feel guilt for doing so as it’s only natural. I believe the fact that if she is in a happy relationship, I shouldn’t express my feelings towards her, considering the awkwardness that may follow. I know that there is a certain level of chemistry between the both of us, we have opened up to each other in immutable levels. I know about things that only a friend can know, I have shared things which I would never be comfortable be sharing with anyone had it been 2 years ago.
I am wounded, i know. I know that I will work on myself all I can and slowly come back up to my usual self.
But if someone who makes you want to get up and conquer the world is right in front of you, and one knows that you can’t have that in your life. What shall one do then?
I haven’t felt this comfortable being vulnerable with anyone else for the past year since my last breakup, which was messy and toxic in its own accord.
Do I express my feelings and live with the consequences or do I be respectful of her relationship and develop a strong friendship with her? Like I stated before, I am attracted to this girl, sexual and everything. She ticks all the boxes. And I am currently blind to any red flags.
Maybe it’s the fact that tomorrow is valentines and internally I wouldn’t want to be alone when everyone else is in love. I don’t know my fellow redditors, you’re my only hope in getting out of this predicament.
TL;DR: I fell for a girl who is dating someone else but she is absolutely gorgeous and makes me want to get the moon for her. What do I do?
1 comment
>But if someone who makes you want to get up and conquer the world is right in front of you, and one knows that you can’t have that in your life. What shall one do then?
I mean, what could you do other than move on?
If you were in a relationship with her, and some other guy fell for her…you would tell him the same thing right?
>Do I express my feelings and live with the consequences or do I be respectful of her relationship and develop a strong friendship with her?
But…you dont want to be friends with her. You fell for her.
Also, its up to you whether you want the official rejection or not. As far as you know, she’s in a happy relationship…so you can imagine what she’ll respond with. If you already kind of know the answer, would you still ask?
>Maybe it’s the fact that tomorrow is valentines and internally I wouldn’t want to be alone when everyone else is in love.
Well here’s the good news, most people are alone on valentines day lol Your IG feed may tell you a different story, but thats IG. Many people who seem happy, are not, but need the IG clout.
But I get it. It sucks when you cant be with somebody you really care about, on a day that celebrates that. But dont worry dude, many of us are in your same shoes.